Keith D. Jones.net

Possessive/Jealous Dating

2012-02-15T14:18:00.000-05:00

Today I have a unique but very common topic to blog about. Possessive and/or jealous partners in dating or in a relationship. I blog about this because I believe I have recently engaged someone who shows these signs. I have only known him for a few weeks yet I have never encountered anyone that have shown these signs, especially when intoxicated. This person is very smart and good looking, so I am surprised at the actions they display when we are out. For example, If I glance at another guy, he assumes I want him (this has happened a couple of times) It gets to the point where he approaches the guy and practically puts me out there. As I was out for a friend's bday at a club last night, he ended up being there and standing over me the entire time. Sure, it is nice to see someone and be around them but I do not like being controlled or bossed around. We had our second heated argument, (the first resulting in me taking him home after a house party and I being called everything but a child of God) in the parking lot in which I told him me is a possessive and jealous guy. He admitted to being a jealous guy but even as I type this I can say I can be a jealous guy, but not to the extent of standing over any dude all night, especially one I just met. I know people who have been in relationships for years who to my knowledge never displayed such insecure actions. I'll just list a couple of circumstances and you tell if if shows jealousy or possessiveness: (Mind you we just met 3 weeks ago...)

1.Calling me baby or introducing me as his "boyfriend."
2. Asking to see my cellphone and gets upset when I don't.
3. Ask specific questions to what I am doing at the moment.
4. Get's upset If I look at another dude.
5. Calls me, then texts me to call him If I don't pick up the phone.
6. Get's every tweet I write directly to his phone as a text.
7. Standing over me at a party all night.

Assults on the LGBT Community

2012-02-09T13:02:00.001-05:00

In recent days, we have heard and seen surges of attacks both vocally and physically of LGBT persons. First, we read about the tweet from Ronald Martin during the Superbowl which asserted that if a man was to get excited about a pair of underwear, he should be smacked. Martin days later would be suspended from CNN for his tweet after pressure from GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.) Later the same week, we saw a young, presumably gay black male, viciously assaulted outside of a corner store in southwest Atlanta. The FBI and Atlanta police are investing.

While I don't believe the two are remotely connected, both have raised national attention again on the treatment of LGBT people and specifically in the African American community. First, It is no secret that hatred is spoken from the pulpit in churches across the country every Sunday. I never understood how Christians and some pastors can make Jesus, a man who walked amongst with the most oppressed of people, to be construed into a Jesus that hates a certain sect of people. Second, It is unfortunate that it took these recent events to create dialogue again about one of the many problems plaguing the black community. We have come too far as a people to let something as small as one's sexual orientation be the achilles heel of our progress in this country. Especially when LGBT have and continue to have an influence on this country and the world. In short, we cannot ask for full acceptance as many people are set in their ways and beliefs but tolerance is a first step towards changing the mindset of a well-known journalist and a couple of "low life thugs."

KDJII

Relations in a Relationship w/ Questions

2012-02-03T10:07:00.000-05:00

I feel like I do 30% of my blogs on relationships but tonight I have a few questions to want to ask and give my answer.

Do you believe in open relationships?

For me the answer is mixed. I am sure as I get older I would want a more monotonous relationship but right now I like to have that option open, if I was in a relationship. I dunno maybe a like-minded individual feels the same way. On the other hand, if... and I'm being really blunt, if the sex is good, no phenomenal, then sure I don't need anyone else. Sex is not and should not be the basis of a relationship but let's face it, we all like it and want it at some point or another.

UPDATE: I originally wrote this blog 3 weeks ago but had it saved as a draft. In that time, I spoke with a friend who is in an open relationship and explained how it works for him. He told me that is is more for companionship than anything else. You set the rules of the open relationship. For example must you tell your partner everytime you mess around with another person? Do you have three-somes together? The answers to those questions are set by the couple. I honestly see it as friends with benefits but to each his own.

Why choose to be single?

Happy New Year! - Updates

2012-01-18T12:43:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! I hope that your year so far has been an excellent one! I though it was time I update this blog just to say hello. I spent New Years in NYC with friends and now back in the office on break. I plan on continuing my blog stories this year, including some NYC experiences. Additionally, updating the fitness blogs and of course, my political ranting. Speaking of, I went to see "The Iron Lady," a movie about former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher which I found a bit inspiring. I plan on doing some more detailed study of her life and policies as a conservative.

A few of my friends are republicans and have been trying to sway me to become republican lol. I currently stand as a moderate democrat. Some say the older you become, the more liberal you become. I find myself to be the complete opposite. I never see myself as a Herman Cain or Clarence Thomas, but certain policies and ideologies I can agree with on a conservative level such as limits on spending and pro life.

So I will be in Atlanta next weekend for the Honda Battle of the Bands at the Georgia Dome. It is also a good friends bday so we plan on partying away Atlanta! Anyone who has "partayed" with me knows I know how to party lol.

Lastly I want to thank everyone for reading this blog...whenever I blog. I get requests or reminders in person, via Twitter and emails expressing great interest. I had no idea. If you like my thoughts and ideas so much I encourage you to follow me on Twitter @KeithJonesJr where I spend most of my life now tweeting about life lol. Happy 2012!

KDJONESII

To Date: Younger or Older

2011-12-15T04:04:00.000-05:00

My best friend and I usually have this discussion every other time we talk. He likes older men, I like them around my age. By older, he likes them in their 40's and I like them in the late 20's. Of course, there are obvious benefits and disadvantages from dating younger or older. Lets break it down. The way I see it and from what he has experienced:

Older Guys: Are more stable, and typically self-assured....
Younger Guys: Are trying to stabilize themselves, ability to grow together....

On the other hand...
Older Guys: Are not as outgoing, i.e. Club or Bar (been there done that), Are more set in their ways...
Younger Guys: Can be immature, outgoing yet sometimes too much...

I think the biggest issue and difference between my best friend is I is my father just turned 50 and his parents are roughly 20 years senior my parents. So I see dating anyone in their 40's like it's dating someone my parent's age. It just feels weird. I recently dabled in the 30 year old range and that seemed cool. I also put a age limit of no one under 25. Age can be tricky, because age does not mean maturity. What do you all think? Have you or are you dating someone younger or older than you?

Pretty Deep

2011-12-14T17:36:00.003-05:00

http://vimeo.com/26453372

What A Way To Start The Week

2011-12-05T23:14:00.000-05:00

Workin' On My Fitness (Fall/Winter)

2011-11-18T11:47:00.000-05:00

This time of year is the hardest to focus on maintaining a healthy diet or working out with the holidays just around the corner. However it is possible to enjoy your holiday meals and keep a fit body during the cold months. First as it relate to meals, eat in portions. Eating one or two meals a day actually does not help you lose weight. The body goes into self preservation mode when you starve it, so 4 or 5 smaller portions throughout the day works best. The day after Thanksgiving...and Christmas, expect the gym to be packed. Most people feel guilty after consuming so much food so if you are in that number be prepared for the crowds. I recommended working out the day before each holiday. Also this time of year is important to space out your workout routines. Cardio one day and hitting the weights another is never a bad idea. If your gym has a sauna, use it! Since most people don't sweat as much in the winter the sauna provides a nice alternative. Saunas are used to get that extra water weight off o you. They are also good for the skin and for many helps with asthma. Back to the dinner table, avoid 3 or 4 helpings of anything. Americans tend to put on a pound per holiday season which adds up over time if there is no routine physical exercise. Don't let the cold weather stop you!

Walmart is a' coming to the District

2011-11-16T11:44:00.000-05:00

It is officially being announced today that Walmart is coming to the District of Columbia. Walmart has been in talks with the city for a while now in bringing its stores to the city. Today we learned DC will get 6 stores. A bit of overkill to me personally speaking. I was happy with 3, each being spread out across the city.

Even with 6 Walmarts in DC, I have found from living in the south the best, well-stocked Walmarts are always in the burbs. I wonder will quality matter though, with 6 Walmarts existing in "one city". Moreover, how will this affect traffic? DC, just released today, is in a region with horrible traffic delays. Will Walmart add to that problem? Well we will not know the answer to these questions until all the stores actually open, in a couple years I would imagine as some sites need serious redevelopment (Skyland). Speaking of Skyland, the final push for a Walmart East of the Anacostia River was brought to new light today. The Skyland shopping center has been fighting the city government for years over an imminent domain battle, with Skyland arguing historic preservation. But let's be real the stores in the area are way over priced (Discount Mart) and serve little use to the public other than a liquor store on the far end and a auto repair store attached to a Department of Employment Office. The other question, with a more obvious answer, is will Walmart drive small businesses out of the city? As we have seen in many areas around the country, "mom and pop" stores stand no chance to the mighty corporation. In addition, will Walmart pay decent wages to DC RESIDENTS? It is nice to have a job but can you afford to live in DC on a Walmart salary? I hope that Walmart will bring much needed economic development while investing in the communities it is about to enter.

Relations of a Relationship

2011-11-14T15:52:00.001-05:00

It seems like I get this question at least once a day. Why aren't you in a relationship or why are you single...still?" Then with the added you're attractive, and have a nice body and funny and blah blah blah. Thank you, but right now I do not seek a relationship.

Let me give you a back story. I have had five serious relationships and each one taught me something. I am grateful that I still communicate with each of them so there were never any hard feelings in the break ups. We broke up over what I see now as silly stuff... minus the one that cheated. One passed in car accident last year and we hadn't spoken in about a year or so. Therefore I have made it mandatory to keep up with the people who in many ways are apart of me as I am of them. As you can see, I take the matter seriously and never with a light heart or mind. Sure guys hit on me and I have even had one tried to get serious after the first date. Really? Nothing is more unattractive than someone who comes off as "thirsty." We can agree for arguments sake that I may be a good catch but don't you think I seek the same? My last dating experience taught me that nothing should be rushed. I Love him to death but I was simply not ready to settle down. Is that a crime? In the gay world that's pretty much like saying I want to continue to be a whore. But how about I want to continue to develop my myself internally. Everyone meets at different levels. If is it meant to be I don't believe it has to be forces or rushed, it naturally happens.

KDJII

Liars, Lovers and Friends (ATLANTA Pride)

2011-09-20T14:20:00.002-04:00

The title sums up my recent trip to Atlanta for pride this year. I had the pleasure to ride down with 5 other people from DC on a Thursday night, arriving in ATL that Friday morning. I am pretty sure this was the first time I did not have to do any driving on a road trip. So I stayed with my bro and spent the majority of the time with him TIPPING around Atlanta over pride weekend. However, on the last night in Atlanta, My bro had a small get together where he cooked and I mixed drinks. We ended up playing a game called Quelf (WHAT a game when drunk) and had a good time. At some point people leave and I doze off, which is where things get interesting. During my sleep, I learned that my bro was bamboozled by one of my friends who came down from DC. He felt played, so he took my bro's cellphone, walked out and allegedly threw it in the trash near the Marta station. When they woke me, I was livid. I remember shaking and just being outright furious. I called my other bro in NYC and a good friend who was in Atlanta, but I was too incoherent to speak. I went searching for the phone, but had no luck. Skip ahead to our time of departure we do a bag search, after being told no, "is this an airport" we only find the charger for the phone. Skip ahead later that week and the phone miraculously turns up in Stone Mountain, GA which is where the accused went that night. He promises to have it mailed to my bro and pay his deductible. Today, over two weeks after the initial incident, no phone, no money...

To this extent, this friend is running for political office and I cannot support a person or campaign that has lied and hurt someone that I care for. I would rather not mention names, but you know who you are. As I stated in a text to you, it was embarrasing to me and foolish for you to act that way. I accepted your apology but this will not be resolved in my mind until the phone turns up or hid deductible is given to him. You can paypal it to me, keithjonesjr@gmail.com if you don't want to hand cash out.

I Survived the East Coast Earthquake

2011-08-23T20:23:00.001-04:00

I was just walking in the office on the 3rd floor of the John A. Wilson building with lunch in hand around 1:55 pm, when the building had a slight rattle. Someone asked, "what was that?" As the shaking got more intense we took cover then proceeded to emergency evacuate the building. With only my cell and my frozen yogurt in hand, we left the building. By the time we got outside, the streets were flooded with tourists and federal/dc employees crossing the street onto Freedom Plaza. Everyone was taking to their cell phones to call loved ones or to find out what was happening. Fortunately I was able to tweet and read that an earthquake had struck in Virginia and the shock waves were felt as far as NYC. I honestly thought it was a bomb, as working only two blocks from the White House, you have to expect the worst. Fortunately no one was seriously injured and we are awaiting further reports on structures and bridges in the region. There was a report that there is cracks in the floor of the John Wilson building, which may have yours truly working from home. Since Metro was running with extreme delays as the feds had an early release. I walked 5 miles home. Yes, the modern day Fredrick Douglass (look up that history) All is well..next...Hurricane Ireme.

KDJ II

The Joys of Life

2011-08-22T20:32:00.001-04:00

Good day people. If you are reading this I hope you are well. So this summer has certainly been EPIC to say the very least. Summer will be going out with a bang in Atlanta for me for pride, followed by the Morehouse vs. Howard classic game in DC at RFK stadium.

Before that though, I have been in between NYC, Philly and DC all Summer attending pride events, Fire Island Black Out (Which deserves a blog of its own) and many other events. However this past Saturday night a car accident proved to me that in a flash, life can be gone.

I always go by the mottos, "I'll sleep when I die" and, "do it big if you can while you can." Without question had the good Lord had other plans for me I could say I have no regrets. Fortunately my passenger and I came out unscaved in what could have easily been a bad accident. Around 2:55 AM Sunday night at the intersections of Florida and Georgia avenues NW a white vehicle made an illegal left turn from the middle lane around a tractor trailer and slammed right into me. I never saw the car coming but my friend did. The other driver proceeded to drive off. I never got a glance of anything other than seeing a white car and 3 black male passengers. I'm pretty sure I went into a state of shock as I don't recall much about the damage of their car. According to my friend their car was smoking and the hood had popped up. It took the police TWO hours to respond as from what I could hear and see they had an extremely busy night. Not so busy for a cop to take a break in a carryout restaurant right after we approached him about the incident, and of my 4 calls to 911 in the 2 hour wait. Eventually an officer came and did his job. I will be following up with an email to the Chief of Police regarding the response time Saturday night as no one after a car accident should have to wait 2 hours for an emergency response.

Nonetheless, I am grateful that I all is well and that the police will find the person who caused the accident.

Live everyday like it's your last. Time flies fast so never waste a minute. Live, Love, and Laugh as much as you can.

KDJ II

MIAMI and Capital Pride (DC)

2011-06-13T23:01:00.000-04:00

Well Miami Sizzle 2011 is in the history books and DC Capital Pride.

Sizzle was Memorial Day weekend and my 2nd year in attendance was just fun. To summarize it, drink party..maybe sleep, eat drinking and more partying lol. My phone was destroyed by the ocean (long story) lol but I was still able to see a few friends over that weekend.

DC Capital Pride was just this past weekend and was live! Great to see Jennifer Holiday perform and to see many friends throughout the weekend at the parade and festival.

Next pride...NYC...ATL?

MIAMI SIZZLE 2011

2011-05-18T20:47:00.000-04:00

Well folks, It is almost that time of year when most black gay men converge on Miami, Florida for Sizzle. This marks the 10th year ( Sizzle X) has been hosted in Miami. Look for gays on top of gays ( no pun intended) on top of gays all weekend. I attended Sizzle for the first time last year and had a crazy amount of fun. Sizzle takes a lot out of you though, as it is a weekend full of partying, drinking, more partying and more drinking. You will need a week to recover lol. If you're heading down this year I'll see you there!

DC VOTE RALLY: Mayor Gray Arrested w/ Members of DC Council

2011-04-12T09:53:00.000-04:00

I AM A PROUD WASHINGTONIAN as I write this blog entry. Yesterday at a DC Vote rally on Capitol Hill in front of Senate office buildings, Mayor Gray, DC Council chairman Kwame Brown, Councilmembers, Bowser, Alexander, Michael Brown, Tommy Wells, and Sekou Biddle along with 34 other people were arrested by capitol police for civil disobedience. This all spurred from the last minute deal passed between Congress and the White House on an agreement that would end funding for Planned Parenthood and push back on DC the school voucher program, which is currently set to be phased out. The entire issue however just shows that DC needs representation in the congress and budget autonomy. I applaud the mayor and councilmembers that stood up for 600,000 residents that live in DC.

It is a step towards a chain reaction of protests I hope. I encourage all civic minded people whether you live in DC or not to call your Senator and Congressperson and tell them give DC a vote. I also encourage as the mayor has local groups in DC to pick up on the issue and the energy. A movement has begun. It must be noted that former DC mayor Sharon Pratt Kelly led a similar protest in 1994 and was arrested. However we have a chance once again to make an impact and end this Un-American blot on our country by denying Americans a simple right to have representation.

I also must note I was saddened to see the lack of African American faces at the protest yesterday, especially young people (under 30). I hope that many young people saw the actions yesterday as a sign that there is a problem, and you can be a part of the solution.

Washington, D.C. Taxation Without Representation

2011-04-11T01:08:00.002-04:00

Folks I know you have been following the budget news lately. Congress and the President struck a deal in the 11th hour to put in a continuing resolution (CR) until Thursday where a final vote on the budget bill will commence. However, in that trade deal, the District of Columbia was screwed over, again. The riders or things attached to a bill that has nothing to do with bill, all were targeted by republicans at DC.

Planned Parenthood has been proposed to be cut. That program, as many don't know, is more than just abortion for low income women. The program provides education, condoms, and other important programs for low income residents.

The DC voucher program has been proposed to be restarted (republicans threw it on DC during the Bush administration) President Obama put a stop to it but Speaker Boehner has heavily pushed for this program. It is also a rider that has been attached to a budget bill.

It is ludicrous that Congress can impose or take away anything from DC, 600,000 residents, while we have absolutely no say or vote. The District of Columbia is treated like a colony, full of taxed slaves. DC residents have and are serving in wars, pay STATE and FEDERAL taxes, yet have no vote in he big white dome building we call the capitol. Even worse, president Obama has not kept his word in defending DC and promoting statehood when he was candidate and senator.

DC is the ONLY city in the WORLD where the capital city residents have no say or vote in its national legislature. DC residents have been disenfranchised for too long. Residents and fellow citizens alike, it is time to make a stand and let congress know that the disregard of over 600,000 Americans is un-American. I implore you to call your Congressperson Senator and The White House and say you want DC to have a vote in Congress, or you support DC statehood.

Obesity: My Experience and Thoughts

2011-03-31T23:30:00.003-04:00

This blog is a little more personal. In recent weeks I have been accused of being "obsessed with fat people" "mean to big people" among other things. Let me be clear. I have nothing against a human being that happens to be big. Many big people are healthy and live productive lives. My issue is with obesity and for lack of a better word "sloppy fat people."

Why am I engaging in this blog? As many of my readers know, I was always big as a kid...well chubby. I went to college and lost the "freshman 15" Only to put it back on. In March of last year I decided I was going to lose it and keep it off. Its April and I have been pretty successful in doing so. Therefore to help others, I created a few blog entries on here as tips to readers. I was more so inspired by the direct messages and private Facebook messages I received with all kind of diet and fitness questions.

The United States is the fattest nation in the world. An estimated 300,000 people die each year from obesity related issues. In low income communities its a never ending battle with carry outs, fast food and bodegas ( corner stores) on every block. Obesity is an epidemic that I am in the fight against. I applaud DC councilmember Mary Cheh who proposed the "Healthy Foods Act" last year that brings healthy food choices to DC Public Schools.

Obese people have it bad though. Obesity now requires fatter crash test dummies, limits to the number of obese people who can ride a bus in New York and having to pay for two seats to ride a plane. No one WANTS to be obese. Understandably losing weight is hard and requires a LIFESTYLE change. It requires dedication, patience, and a little inspiration.

Ward 8 Unemployment/ Marion Barry

2011-03-31T23:06:00.003-04:00

Hello world!

It is I again with another entry. I have a lot to blog about so I will be doing separate entries. This first blog concerns the unemployment rate in ward 8 in Washington, D.C. I did a blog on this exact issue last year. It's sad to see little to no progress on putting ward 8 to work. As stated in the Biz Journal today ward 8 has the nation's highest unemployment rate of any US metropolitan area. A lot of this is attributed to the fact that most new jobs in DC require higher education. The other issue is ward 8 has a slew of people who are fresh from incarceration, which hurts the chances of employment.

Ward 8 according to the latest census numbers has 70,000 residents. They are represented in the city legislature by the "mayor for life" Marion Barry. Barry is historically known for speaking out for the underserved in the city. However as a resident, I feel like not much has been done in the last two years to benefit the residents. Barry has a legacy in the city from serving two terms as mayor to being the first to propose many programs over his 30 years in DC Government. Why hasn't Barry been effective in lowering the unemployment issue in the ward? Clearly there are feasible, cost friendly, effective ways of tackling this issue. As we know, unemployment creates crime, which creates a host of issues that could affect a quickly gentrifying place. When we see Barry in the news, it is always about him not paying taxes, stalking some woman, not paying car tickets, talking on his cell phone during public hearings, driving with no registration, or having his car booted. He is a PUBLIC SERVANT and we need to hold our elected officials accountable. NO ONE is above the law. Who and why does he keep getting elected? Barry has a following of seniors in ward 8 who remember the "glory days" of Marion Barry. Clearly and unfortunately those days are lover.

There is a small growing movement of young people in the ward who want change. Many of us are tired of the embarrassment that we have representing us in the city council. When we start to making changes from the top down, then we can work on fixing the unemployment rate in ward 8.

Workin' On My Fitness: Issue 2 Gluteus Maximus

2011-03-10T21:42:00.000-05:00

This issue comes off a question I get a lot and it concerns the gluteus maximus. For those people trying to lose weight, but don't want to lose their rear end, don't worry! Cardio is NOT the devil, as long as you don't over do it. In addition, squats and lunges amongst other lower body workouts are fine, but I reccommend interval and set training. You want to feel a burn in those thighs and buns! As far as dietary concerns go, healthy carbs like rice and wheat bread will keep you in check.

March Update

2011-03-05T18:55:00.000-05:00

Hola! I hope everyone reading is well. It is time for an update! I am still working for the "wonderful" DC govt. Aside from the drama going on in the government, I am proud to say my coworker and I are single handedly building up our little agency known as Clean City, under the Exec Off of the Mayor.

Personal life just consists of work, gym, work gym...with some weekends being full of partying and traveling. No dating potenials or relationships to speak of on any level. I think some of that can be attributed to the lack of quality or the 'snooty' types DC has to offer. Anyway I am happy and contempt with myself and my small circle of friends.

I am trying to work out my next travels, to Vegas/Miami this year. Looking forward to both. Miami was a big SPLASH last year, and this will be my first time in the dessert, or anywhere near the west coast for that matter.

I am looking for a big change this year. I am not the one to maintain a day to day routine but for so long. Will I be moving this year? Possible. NYC has been on my radar. I always have a good time and feel at home in NYC. I regret everytime I leave. Atlanta is an afterthought, but still on the scene.

If you read this blog and just been wondering where I have been, follow me on Twitter, @KeithJoensJr. I tweet everyday about almost everything, lol.

Workin' On My Fitness: Issue 1

2010-12-14T20:14:00.001-05:00

With my fitness success this past year, I want to start a blog on this topic. I want to first thank those who inspired me to stay on the course, my best friend Jon, Mike, and all those who ever called me big or fat, lol. I am fortunate that I can turn negativity into fuel for my fire. However that's a blog for another time.

So to first you need to pre-plan. Are you looking into joining a gym, or just sticking with a workout plan at home? Depending on your time, and finances, I personally recommend joining a gym, as you are offered many benefits and incentives to join. If you are in the Washington, D.C. area, I recommend the Washington Sports Club, which has a network (if you elect to pay additional for it) where you can use the gyms in Philly, NYC, and Boston. The same is offered to the other cities I mentioned. However if you are on a budget, I recommend Planet Fitness, which has locations all over the country. The membership is $10 a month. Once you decide your mode of fitness, next you need to look at your individual goals. Are you trying to lose weight? Tone up? Gain weight? Etc? I will write individual blogs in the future on each goal, but today I will keep it general.

Losing weight requires time, self control, and patience. It will require you to start out slow if you are new to the gym, with a simple half a mile to a mile for cardio per workout session. I would also advise you get a medical physical, just to be on the safe side. The equation for losing weight is simply calories in - calories burned off. The body naturally burns off calories by simply living. Every smile, digestion, driving, etc burns calories. Depending on your age and weight, your body burns up to 2,500 calories a day. There are conversion charts online that you can use to calculate your calories burned off. 1 lbs = 3,500 calories. If you are trying to lose weight you want to take in well below that number. That will require that you count your calories as you consume food and drinks.

Back to the workout plan, I would also advise light weight lifting to begin with. If you are completely new to lifting any kind of weight I would suggest asking a trainer or even signing up for many of the classes gyms offer for free. Some gyms also offer a free workout session with a personal trainer.

Once you get into a groove, begin to challenge yourself to do more, go farther, but listen to your body.

For those that are trying to lose weight, its the opposite equation. You want to consume as many HEALTHY calories as possible. Eating junk food does nothing but make you fat. You want to put on healthy pounds by eating healthy carbs and in portions. When it comes to fitness, your challenge is not cardio, although I recommend you still get a little in, your challenge is actually lifting some weights. Not heavy, unless you want to be a bulky bodybuilder, but simple weights that are just enough to give you a sweat.

For those that are toning, your challenge is similar to those wanting to lose weight, but you need to do more reps with light weights to tone that muscle.

Personally for me, I started my major transition in March where I weighed 185lbs. My high was prob 195lbs. I just weigh myself today and I am at 155lbs! A 30lb weight loss takes time, and some serious dedication. There will be slip ups, and with the holidays around it may not be easy to just hop into a groove. Even with dieting, the process has to be gradual.

Well that's it for now, future blogs will go into greater detail regarding dieting, types of workouts, and other topics. Have a question? Just leave it in the comment box and we'll continue the discussion there where everyone can see it.

http://www.joinmysportsclubs.com/

http://planetfitness.com/

2010 in Review

2010-12-06T00:39:00.006-05:00

Wassup folks! Well I haven't blogged much this year but at the interest of a reader I decided to update. All is well first off, and im looking forward to a new year. In my private life, I have been focusing on work and expanding myself mentally and physically. In the last year I have worked off 30 pounds and toned up a little. This has also been the year of self reflection and perfection. I do believe I am wiser and better off than I was around this time last year.

This year has seen me through just ONE relationship that ended abruptly towards the end of the Summer. At this point in my life, I am over my "hook ups" and more inclined to find like minded guys with goals and simply able to offer something other than sex or good looks to the relationship. Being in DC has not made this easy, as I have not been too keen on dating guys from this area. It seems I get better play in the south, lol.

DC starts off 2011 with a new mayor, and the federal govt turns red, as republicans take control of the US House. Sad year for the democrats. I hope in 2011 the president can focus on bigger and more important tasks like jobs and not healthcare. In this year, I have taken on a more conservative tone myself. We need more fiscal responsibility and we need to better outline of what needs to be done in this country.

As far as DC goes, I hope the new mayor will lead this city on the right direction, and I mean that on many levels. Fiscally the city is facing a $188 million deficit, with expected shortfalls of nearlt $500 for fiscal year 2012. In simple language, the city is BROKE. Therefore, that means we will see some city services cut, possible tax increases and dare I say it FURLOUGHS. The city is also split racially and my socioeconomic status. Vince Gray will have his hands full to say the least.

I'll be spending New Years with good friends in the big apple again. Last year was a blast and I'm sure this year will go out with a bang as well.

Oh yea, bought a new truck a few months ago. My Hyundai Tucson is a beauty. I am still planning that road trip to somewhere next year. Speaking of road trips, I'll be in Atlanta in April and May for Wrestlemania and a graduation respectively. I also plan on visiting the WEST COAST in 2011. More details to come later.

This year has taught me that depsite it all, God has it under control. With so much going on in the world, there is comfort in knowing that there is a peace that passes all understanding that can be obtained.

This year has also seen the lost of a few good souls. People I have considered friends. I think in 2010 I attended more funerals that any year in my life. The one that hit me the most was a young black male, I think a little younger than me, laying in that coffin. That site really hit me hard. It was a sad image, because the male was a victim of youth violence. I hope in 2011 we can continue to teach that taking lives is not the way to solve problems, it only creates bigger problems.

I may do a video blog before the end of the year so look out for that. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

KDJII

Tragic Suicides of Gay Students Is A Wake Up Call

2010-10-01T23:13:00.006-04:00

Billy Lucas, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Tyler Clementi and Raymond Chase, RIP. All young gay promising people who committed suicide in the last 3 weeks. This is a time when we need to come together and better educated all people about bullying and the impact it has . I personally know someone who committed suicide from what I can assume from being gay. It takes a a lot to drive someone to the point of wanting to take their life. The bullying in the schools need to stop and the bullying from the pulpit needs to stop.

DC Mayor: Your 100 Days Agenda

2010-10-01T22:13:00.007-04:00

Hello good people, I have not written in a while so let me get caught up on a few major topics, starting with the next DC Mayor. So the residents spoke when they elected Vince Gray, current chair of the council, as the democratic nominee and presumptive next mayor since DC is a heavily democratic city. The next mayor has a lot to tackle: a city racially and economically divided, a budget shortfall nearly $175 million dollars, and to keep schools Chancellor Michelle Rhee and a host of other cabinet members, amongst other issues. Gray has already asked that the city begin a hiring freeze and stop promotions.

On the first issue, census data recently released show that the rich is getting richer and the poor is getting poorer in DC. 1 out of every 4 black children live in poverty. The citywide median income is around $58,000 but in poor neighborhoods its way under $20,000. With the recession and recent cuts in human services many people are falling by the waste side. There is no quick remedy to this problem but I believe in helping people help themselves and in the end helping the bottom line. I think we can solve this budget crisis and help people with jobs by education and training. Lets be honest. Statistics show that black people are the biggest consumers in the United States. One of the shortfalls for the budget is because sales tax revenues fell way shorter than expected. The solution is simple, but will require businesses to hire more and preferably DC residents. Marion Barry used a similar strategy when he started the summer youth program back in the 70's by involving businesses. The business paid for the summer youth NOT the DC goverment. We need to move to smart and innovative ways of managing our government while making big government less.

I truly hope that Gray keeps Michelle Rhee as Chancellor. My opinion may not be favored upon by many but its my opinion through observation and study of the dramatic changes the DC public schools system has seen in the last 3 years. I have personally witnessed most of these schools do a 360. The kids are learning, the school buildings are FINALLY being renovated after years of dilapidation. I recommend that DC follows the charter school method of seriously holding parents more accountable. I have been a teacher and teachers cannot be the parents. It is the responsibility of the parents to make sure their child is at school on time and finishes their homework. President Obama made a remark recently that nerved up many washingtonians when he stated that DC public schools are not good enough at this time for his two daughters. I wish that the president would have rephrased that a little bit. The president has not shown much support for DC as he has not addressed the DC voting rights issue nor has he ordered the "taxation without representation" tags be put on the presidential limo as a symbolic gesture. Hopefully the next mayor and the president can sit down and discuss these issues.

Dedication of Life: Clarence Stone

2010-07-09T10:12:00.005-04:00

It seems like I am doing one of these every other month now. I was saddened to learn about the untimely death of Clarence L. Stone, my ex, who died in a car accident last Monday in his hometown of Nashville, TN. Clarence was a bright, highly talented guy, who used his creative genius to inspire many. A singer, dancer, and artist, Clarence taught me to appreciate the arts more. I believe we also taught each other a lot as it pertains to relationships and the entire spectrum that covers. His death teaches us to wear a seat belt every time, as it may save your life. RIP old buddy.

My July Updates

2010-07-09T10:00:00.003-04:00

Wassup people! Its been a little while since I have blogged so let me take the time to update you all on the happenings in my life. First, I have been thoroughly enjoying this summer by taking trips to Miami, Atlanta, and New York/New Jersey, with more plans to visit Toronto, St. Louis and back to ATL in September. I am doing very well at the job with the mayors office and yes I am no longer single. How about that? Its been a while since I have seriously been involved with anyone so this came as a shock to some. Mykel is a special friend who I have developed a love for over the last few months. It was not my intention, but we bond so well and share a passion and vision for life that it seems just right. You'll be hearing more about this as things move along.
Try to stay cool this summer!

Dedication of Life: Jameel Smith

2010-05-12T10:00:00.002-04:00

Fellow blogger's and readers alike, It is with a heavy heart I write this blog, dedicated to a young promising life gone too early. Jameel Smith originally from Huntsville, Alabama and a member of the Morehouse Class of 2008, committed suicide the other night. I cannot verify any more information until I get it but this is surely a tragedy and loss to us all.

I remember meeting Jameel our freshman year at Morehouse as he was elected freshmen class President. Arguably a manageable leader, its no surprise his jovial, exciting demeanor and personality won the votes and eventually hearts of many.
I worked with him in many capacities as I served as a student Senator. Jameel could also be found at the Absalom Jones Student Center and Chapel with friends studying or just hanging out. I recall one time we all were hanging out in Graves Hall in a fellow classmates room late into the night talking, playing music, and just having a great time. Times like that should be truly treasured because you never know when or if you will see someone again.

From reading Jameels Facebook page, it is evident he touched many lives. Let us pray for his friends, the Morehouse family and his family.

KDJONESJr.

ATLANTA or MIAMI? Memorial Day Weekend

2010-05-06T13:33:00.005-04:00

Wassup folks! Its almost that time of year. Pride. my dilemma, ATL, or MIA?

Atlanta is clearly a choice because whatever is happening anywhere else Atlanta normally draws the "overflow" crowd. It would save me money and I can see some old friends plus still have a great time.

Miami clearly is the spot to be Memorial Day weekend. Issues. Travel: airfare is cheap, but then hotel accommodations. I dont want to go down there and have nowhere to stay. I know a few people going but you know how shady gay people can be.

Another option is to drive to Miami from Atlanta.
Suggestions?

Alive and Well!

2010-04-28T15:19:00.002-04:00

Wassup people, you miss me? I had to catchup and write a quick blog for those that have been following me. So life is good...im trying to get that body right for the summer. I'll be TIPPING down to Miami for Memorial Day weekend like many of you are. My current Operation is to move to New York or back to ATL with a nice paying job and go back to school. Working in the Mayors Office has been a great learning experience and certainly looks good on my resume. Well back to work then to the gym!

KDJII

Happy Holidayz Update

2009-12-21T16:05:00.003-05:00

Wassup folks! Happy Holidays to you and yours. If you were like me stuck in 20 inches of snow, then you couldnt do the last minute shopping u meant to do over the weekend. Epic fail I know but it will get done someday this week. Despite all the cold and snow, is it just me or does it not feel like Christmas? So whats new with me? So much yet so little. I'll make it simple... Single still - yes...talking to someone... nope. You may recall last year I was in a relationship around this time so its been a year since I have been comitted. In the year I have grown and learned so much. I have a promising career doing what I love. The rest I leave in God's hands. Be blessed and safe over this Christmas holiday.

KDJONES

DC Gives Stamp of Approval on Gay Marriage

2009-12-16T09:30:00.003-05:00

Well folks, I had to come out of hiding on this one. I have been so engulfed in work at City Hall that I have not found time to blog. However, something of epic proportions as this deserves a blog. Yesterday, the DC City Council on an 11-2 vote approved same sex marriages in the District of Columbia. The Mayor is expected to sign the bill. Of course like any DC law passed, it is subject to a Congressional review period of 30 days. However Congress is not likely to intervene on this bill. This piece of legislation was years in the making, as DC as always been a progressive city, just caught under the watchful umbrella of Congress, who unfairly has the right to have say so on local matters. Nevertheless this was a victory for DC in many ways. With DC joining five states on allowing same sex marriages, it gives the city a sense of autonomy when it comes to making legislation and passing controversial laws. Futhermore it exploits the fact that DC is a city that does not have voting rights in Congress. With over 600,000 people UNREPRESENTED, this is a modern day atrocity. Congrats to the newly engaged and to the city council for thir hard work.

ALIVE!

2009-11-04T22:26:00.002-05:00

Wassup Folks yea I a still here workin in the Mayors Office in DC. I will be bloggin more soon

The Hook Up #9 -Sinner or Saint?

2009-09-17T00:05:00.003-04:00

Atlanta, 2004, I was reminded of this story through a friend that knows the same dude. I think I met dude, we'll call him tony, through blackplanet. He was a freshman at Clark Atlanta and we decided to meet on the strip aka promenade. We had a good discussion and found out we had a lot on common, including being student govt President in HS. Anyway we called it a night. I told my bestfriend at Clark also about the incident and come to find out he had a crush on dude as well, lol. Although they never messed around to my knowledge Tony and I had a open friendship for about a month. We went on a "Date" to the Annual Morehouse-Spelman Christmas Concert. after that we actually hung out, in my bestfriends room lol. That was quite the experience. Since we all knew each other at this point, Tony gave me a lap dance while I was sitting on the bed as my friend on he pc laughed and tried not to look. He swore he didnt have a crush on dude but I still felt uncomfortable about the situation. So a few weeks later Tony comes to the student center one rainy night and he told me that he was trying to "turn straight" at the same time, maybe through foolishness or love struck, I decided to do the same. We clearly both failed lol within a week. However we didn't talk much after that and the most we ever shared was a kiss, but I believe he was the reason I decided to study the Bible and homosexuality. Tony is doing very well now as his facebook shows but we haven't spoken in 5 years.

Unemployment at 25% in Ward 8 in DC

2009-09-06T13:42:00.004-04:00

Ward 8 has challenges — its poverty and unemployment rates, at 36 and 25 percents respectively, are the highest of any of the city’s wards, as is its percentage (34 percent) of residents without a high school diploma, according to the Urban Institute and Washington,D.C. Local Initiatives Support Corporation for 2000, the last year for which numbers were available.
Ward 8 also had the highest number of violent crimes at 22 per 1,000 residents of any D.C. ward in 2007, the last year for which numbers were available, according to the Corporation (the D.C. city-wide average is 14 violent crimes per 1,000 residents).

According to NBC 4, most of the unemployment in ward 8 can be traced to lack of education and a criminal record. This is a troubling issue as people need jobs in order to survive. It is statistically known that more jobs equal less crime. So the question is how do we solve this problem? Its simple, adult education and literacy programs are pertinent to solving this paradox. Second more jobs that help support and grow the community. Most of the time, this issue falls on the government to fix but I believe the community should have a helping hand as well. If we stuck together as a community, I believe the problem wouldn't be as bad. A lot of non profits help with adult education and offer jobs but we need more invested interest. The government cannot solve everything.

Remembering Ted Kennedy

2009-08-27T17:01:00.004-04:00

The long life of the great man named Edward "Ted" Kennedy came to an end just a day ago. Even if you are not into politics I am sure you have heard the name Kennedy. Ted lived a long life, born into a family of power and wealth, yet always remembered those less fortunate. He fought for those that could not fight, and spoke for those that did not have a voice. He was instrumental and getting a lot of progressive legislation passed during his 8 terms as a United States Senator, including civil rights, health care and immigration reform.

On a personal level, Ted Kennedy was one of the people I found myself "rooting" for when he spoke on the Senate floor. He spoke with passion and conviction and really made it interesting to watch. He was a man that I think really "GOT IT." Public service is not about getting rich, its about helping and being the voice of the people you represent. Senator Kennedy is an inspiration for me. A man that withstood so much personal struggle and pain. From losing his brothers to losing the presidency, he still indelibly made his mark on history.

"We know the future will outlast all of us, but I believe that all of us will live on in the future we make." --Accepting an honorary degree from Harvard, December 2008

Reflections on being a Teacher

2009-08-25T19:39:00.002-04:00

Last summer, I had the pleasure of co-teaching a 5th grade summer session at Excellence Charter School in Brooklyn, NY. I thought this blog would be appropriate,since many are embarking upon another school year. When I think of being a teacher, many adjectives come to mind. However the one that really stands out is dedication. I once heard someone say that if you can stand in front of a class and try to maintain and teach children, you can handle any job.
Many people do not give teachers the credit they are due. They are the lifetime, between success and failure. Many work sun up to sun down before and way after school lesson planning, grading papers and thinking of new ideas to improve their teachings style. For almost 3 months, I lived the life of a teacher. I had to plan lessons, teach, in addition to attending professional development sessions in the evenings. Many people see teaching as a stepping stone to another career but those that stay are the most dedicated.

I cannot stress enough the importance of black male teachers in inner city schools. I remember my own 5th grade teacher, a black male, who scolded me for not getting a math problem right. I will never forget that man or the influence of the many teachers I have had during my academic career.

Today I salute the teachers of the world, as you are producing the next generation of leaders.

Tell A Hook Up Story #8 -Internal Affairs

2009-08-10T16:36:00.003-04:00

The loooong awaited return of this series! Again thank you all for the feedback. Of course names, and dates are made up to protect any third party.

ATLANTA, Georgia, Fall 2005. Another year of college brought new experiences and challenges but none as peculiar as this. As I was exploring "the life" style in and out the clubs and starting to leave the confines of my dear college lo and behold a member of the college reached back for me. I was on m4n one fine crisp Fall Afternoon on my normal 2 hour break before my next class and I run across a dude who was at the time in his late 20's. A big no no for me at the time since I was barely making 20. Anyway he didn't look his age and he was cute so I figured I would give him some play. We talked briefly and then he asked what school did I go to? I told him and he replied I worked there? Naturally,I was shocked and even horrified in a way? Did he know me? He told me he worked in the payroll office so he doesn't run into students much. I was relieved. So I decided to meet him at the office. It was funny meeting someone from a site like that and acting so inconspicuous, I deserved a damn Oscar, lol. Anyway he was really cool in person and our first encounter was clean. We eventually exchanged YIM information and had another meet and greet on his lunch break in the office. We were both "orally" inclined and that "session" lasted 10 maybe 15 minutes.I have done and did the do in some interesting places but this was maybe the most unique lol. Of course we didn't meet up too much as to not arouse suspicion but when we did, it was a good mid day snack on my part lol.

Controversially Me 'Written word'

2009-08-10T00:47:00.005-04:00

I call myself a rebel, a social activist, and a natural born leader
I take stances that are controversial, ugly, and some would say immoral
Im controversially me.

At the same time you will never know the real me
The one that secretly prays for your soul while you sleep
The one that's there through thick and deep.

I may never say "I love you"
But YOU are the LOVE that I need
in my times of trial, being controversially me.

FAGGOT

2009-08-01T02:06:00.002-04:00

Im sure the title of this blog caught your attention. Its a hurt word like nigger, or cracker. It's use is to demean or hurt someone, whether they are homosexual or not. I am writing this blog because I saw first hand how hateful that word can be and even worse how much hate is built up in the person using the word. I was getting my seafood dinner at a local carry out in DC when I overheard a young boy, maybe in his early teens call two dudes that walked by faggots. The dudes walked on and honestly were not clockable but even so the word pierced through me. The young teen was terribly loud and even went so far to say I hope someone kills the faggots. I was in shock and astonishment. I thought who instilled all this hatred into this 12 or 13 year old. Where did he learn to hate so much? Clearly his threats were idle but it reminded me of a reality that we live in. The gay acceptance movement has far to go before stereotypes are removed, especially in the African-American community. Back to my thoughts on the boy I wondered if he learned this hatred at home. Im assuming "daddy" isn't there and mama cant control a teen boys every move. Maybe in school, where we know that age is a time where many teens tend to find themselves. Quite possibly even his church is the root of this hate. His interpretation of what the preacher said about "all gays are going to hell" could simply be, kill them. I don't know the source of the young teen's hatred, but I do know we need to accept people, no matter what their background may be. Diversity training needs to be taught in kindergarten quite frankly, which I know is a controversial issue and stance. However lets face it, most inner city youth are not directly exposed to the positive images that homosexuals contribute to society. That can extend to race and gender as well. The black male is in peril and it starts in the community. Most homes are in shambles and the schools are playing "catch up" so its time the HRC, GLAAD, and NBJC, and other affirming organizations begin to reach out to these people, young and old in order to facilitate discussion and hopefully acceptance. Because although that young man said those things not ONE adult said anything to quiet the boy. The word faggot is unacceptable.

My Spill on a few of the Major Topics

2009-07-28T19:00:00.007-04:00

Hello folks!

I know many of you have been asking about my blogs. I have not written in a while but you can rest assured I have been up on the major issues I tend to blog about. I really don't know where to begin so I guess I'll work my way backwards.

The situation that involved the black Harvard professor and a white cop I believe was clearly racially motivated. I don't have clear cut evidence of this but let's use common sense. The man looked suspicious in a predominantly white neighborhood. I don't know what occurred once the police arrived but the fact that he was taken to jail...especially if he did show his I.D. tells me that this was an abuse of the law. There was no reason for that man to be arrested. Belligerent or not wouldn't you be furious if cops came to your home and gave you a hard time on your property?

The Michael Jackson story develops with no shocking news to me. From day 1 I was suspicious of that Doctor. From him leaving the scene to the police towing his car, his story never added up. I don't know his M.O. but hopefully if this man was the man behind Jackson's death he will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
As im sure many of you do I feel sorry for his kids. I hope they grow up into their full potential, no matter who eventually ends up raising them.

So Michael Vick is a free man and now can play in the NFL again. If he is genuinely sincere I know the Lord will provide for him to play on a higher level and maybe even carry some team to the Superbowl. Talk about a success story.

On Obama's healthcare plan I am still up in the air on how I feel. My grandmother called it communism and some believe anything ran by the government has a catch. I do believe Obama has good intentions with this healthcare reform but how many people will it hurt? We all know it will not be as glittery as some Democrats are saying. I understand that under our current system the US is putting tons of money into healthcare. Quite honestly I feel like some Doctors could use a pay cut. That stance may be radical but im honest. Infact that could apply to overpriced lawyers and any other field that charges inflation prices. I surely believe that these professionals should be awarded but we are talking about basic rights and care. Every American should be entitled to healthcare and provided a good lawyer, not some barely trained person they give you when you cant afford a lawyer. This country is about the haves and the have not's but in the richest country on the planet that should not be the case. Before the recession I could never understand homelessness here but the recession opened my eyes. Greed is the reason why this is the land of the unequally free.

On to DC politics poor Marion Barry is again caught in a rut. a love triangle that may cost him more than he envisioned. Mr. Barry if you ever read this please know you cannot take city funds and just throw them at your girlfriends. Too many hard working people pay their taxes and it does not give you a right to manipulate the system. If there was a way to impeach a councilmember I would be first to sign. This is simply ridiculous and embarrassing. I look up to you as a skilled political figure. I don't know many people that can go from prison to the mayor's chair...and these days it seems to be the other way around. But your time is over. DC, especially ward 8 needs a leader that will use city funds in a correct manner and bring a more positive image to the city.

Oh by the way I celebrated my 24th Bday last Thursday. Shout out to all the LEO's!

Higher Education Comes At Big Cost

2009-06-09T18:22:00.005-04:00

As many college graduates can testify, the costs of paying for college comes at a big cost. For those not lucky enough to have full scholarships and grants, the loans can build up. The average college student finishes college with $25,000 worth of debt. Welcome to the real world huh? However many do not finish college at all. Not because of academic probation or dropping out, but due to the lack of financial resources to pay.
Many first-year students report that they are concerned about finances, according to the 2009 National Freshman Attitudes Report, released by Noel-Levitz, the nation’s leading enrollment management consulting firm for colleges and universities. The study was based on 98,120 first-year students at 265 colleges and universities. The study found that less than half of the students (46 percent) said they had adequate financial resources to finish college, and 29 percent had financial difficulties that are very distracting or troublesome. First-generation students were particularly at risk for financial stress. Students at two-year institutions reported higher levels of financial anxiety than their counterparts at four-year institutions.

The fact is this problem was in place before this current recession hit us. I want to focus right now on the African American community. According to the most recent statistics, the nationwide college graduation rate for black students stands at an appallingly low rate of 42 percent. This figure is 20 percentage points below the 62 percent rate for white students. Im sure that financial resources plays a big part in these numbers.

College costs have increased over the years yet many family incomes have not increased, which has made the idea of even attending college only a dream for some. In this day in time everyone needs to have at least a bachelors or Associates degree. The high school diploma doesn't account for much these days.

I applaud the President for really trying to revamp the student loan system and trying to ease the costs of higher education on families. However there is much to be done and more help is needed. Many people are falling through the cracks and it doesn't help them or this country if we do not produce outstanding hardworking citizens to carry us on into the future.

Spike Lee vs. Tyler Perry

2009-06-01T19:44:00.004-04:00

In one corner we have a movie legend, born in Atlanta, GA but claims Brooklyn, NY as his home. A Morehouse man and a prolific yet sometimes controversial actor, writer, film producer... Spike Lee.

In the other we have a native of New Orleans now residing in Atlanta, GA. A man making his name in the movie industry who literally built his success from nothing. He is well known for his plays and now for his movies and television shows. Tyler Perry. Two different styles of movie making but to add to it Spike Lee is not a fan of Tyler Perry.

In an interview at the 14th Annual Black Enterprise Conference, Lee expressed his displeasure at "lazy" journalists who call his work "controversial," and the 'coonery' and buffoonery" of media aimed at black consumers, singling out the work of Tyler Perry. he continued, I know it’s making a lot of money and breaking records, but we can do better. … I am a huge basketball fan, and when I watch the games on TNT, I see these two ads for these two shows (Tyler Perry’s "Meet the Browns" and "House of Payne") and I am scratching my head. … We got a black president and we going back to Mantan Moreland and Sleep ‘n’ Eat?

On Tyler Perry and what the black consumer (really) wants to see:

We’ve had this discussion back and forth. When John Singleton [made Boyz in the Hood], people came out to see it. But when he did Rosewood, nobody showed up. So a lot of this is on us! You vote with your pocketbook, your wallet. You vote with your time sitting in front of the idiot box, and [Tyler Perry] has a huge audience. We shouldn’t think that Tyler Perry is going to make the same film that I am going to make, or that John Singleton or my cousin Malcolm Lee [would make]. As African Americans, we’re not one monolithic group so there is room for all of that. But at the same time, for me, the imaging is troubling and it harkens back to Amos n’ Andy.

Very thought provoking statements from Spike Lee. I agree with Spike to an extent. It is the consumer that has the final say. No one forces us to go and watch these films, yet at the same time we should be going out in droves to see movies like Malcolm X and Rosewood in order to facilitate dialogue amongst ourselves and understand our rich history which is being lost to this generation. Indeed Tyler Perry is a comedian and many comedians walk a thin line when it comes to entertainment and buffoonery. However a flux of black comedians and movie producers have overcome this barrier. Tyler Perry should consider the social implications of his productions and use his popularity as a platform for showing blacks in a positive role as well as providing some comedic relief. I would actually like to see Perry and Lee do some sort of movie together. Im sure it would provide the best of both worlds.

How I became an Episcopalian

2009-05-27T14:50:00.004-04:00

Thanks to a fellow blog reader for inspiring this blog. A lot of people don't even know much about the Episcopal Church and if they do most assume its made up of a majority white parishioners. That couldn't be far from the truth. My first interaction with the Episcopal denomination came my freshman year of college. I had made a few connections in Atlanta before I left to attend college and one connection ended up being a staunch Episcopalian. When I did not have my room and board situated the people of this one particular parish, or church assigned to the AUC (Atlanta University Center) ie Morehouse, Spelman, Clark Atlanta, etc reached out a helping hand to a freshman in a strange city on a new journey. After my room and board was situated I started to attend services at what we affectionately call, the chapel. The Rev Gloria Bowden, who I wrote a previous blog about was chaplain at the time. She was the most caring individuals one could have known.
Anyway this was also a time where I was struggling with religion and homosexuality. I was born in the church and raised in the church, and I have family that serve as pastors and deacons in traditional black holiness and Baptist churches so I was aware of the you're going to hell argument. I wasn't the only one struggling with this that year and Gloria directed us all to some books and some priests that could answer our questions. Through my research I couldn't understand how one can spew hate from Gods pulpit and talk down about people that did nothing wrong to them. So the Episcopal church proved to be a place that was very open that gay people are made in Gods image like anybody else. The main idea that floats in my mind is God is Love. So on the two points that the church was helpful to me, and spritually nutured me I decided to become an Episcopalian. I went through the confirmation classes and learned more about the church rich history. I also learned that African Americans make up a big part of the church. One big change for me that I have come to appreciate is the order of service. There is no running around and falling out, not to say that it is wrong, but honestly I never saw myself doing all of that. Episcopalians praise God in decency and in order. Unfortunately before I was confirmed Gloria succumed to cancer. That hurt us all but her teachings and thoughts will live forever in those she touched, including me. Thats how I became an Episcopalian.

Children, the true victims of the recession

2009-05-26T14:48:00.004-04:00

There are 16,000 homeless children in the United States.

I was watching CBS news a few nights ago and I was almost in tears at the end of a story of a mother and her 8 year old son whose home was foreclosed on and now live in a small motel room. The boy who seemed very intelligent for his age is dealing with the realities of life at an early age, which forces him to grow up way faster than he should. Today on CNN a similar story aired about a young teen girl who was striving to make it on her own living in a shelter with her father. Each of these children struck a tone in me. Their resiliency and their ambition to still make something of themselves. They want to attend school and have a career, despite their current situation. We all could learn a thing or two from these and other young people who are striving to make it during tough times. Although it is not their own fault for the situation they are in they look for better days, and still believe that they can be something in this world. They may not realize it but they have already made a difference or have had an impact on someones life by telling their stories.

THANK YOU!

2009-05-26T14:37:00.003-04:00

A short video blog to thank all of you my blog readers and supporters.

We Need Each Other

2009-05-21T12:52:00.003-04:00

We need each other. That is the idea that I am becoming more aware of as of late. Human beings cannot face this world alone for the idea itself could drive one insane. God placed us here on this earth to make the best of our existence and that includes befriending one another. I have always looked to the eagle as my favorite bird. Independent, travels alone never in packs, and can very much survive different weather conditions. Yet even sometimes the eagle needs a helping hand, as they are now on the endangered species list. This is all to say no matter how independent we may be, exigent times do arise and everyone needs a helping hand. We may never know why God brings certain people in our lives or why we go through certain situations. However I do belief each day is a test and an opportunity to make one small difference in someone's life. Whether its sparing change to the needy, or giving time and energy towards the elderly, disabled or young children. These good deeds add up and over time, we all can make a lifetime of a difference.

Morehouse Atrocity

2009-05-15T23:57:00.003-04:00

I came across this article on CNN.com and I must say I am completely utterly outraged at this. http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/05/14/morehouse.justice/index.html

I was going to post a video blog, then a written blog but instead I am going to post a conversation I had with someone on this issue.

Read from bottom to top...

--------------- Right its not a Morehouse problem directly but indirectly being that it was two Morehouse students, should be held to the highest standards.
Honestly even it wasn't Morehouse students where is the stand against black on black violence? Especially black men.
I don't think I can agree with you however about the 'extra stuff that Morehouse offers. Very true, education is the main reason why anyone attends college. However schools like Morehouse tend to nurture you in its own unique way, the idea of the Morehouse mystic you may have heard of. There is nothing wrong with living up to certain standards. The ideas of the renaissance that Morehouse men should be well read, well kept, etc is a good thing to live up to. It gives us not only an education, but a sense of humanity and decency.
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I agree the sentence was easy. But it is really not a Morehouse problem. And the renaissance mission is complete crap. I understand the meaning, however in the end of the day the purpose is education. Not the extra bull Morehouse has

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very true but on two points I must disagree. Point one the sentence for attempted murder was too lenient. The plea deal was not appropriate for the crime that was committed. Point 2 Morehouse, a school that boasts in making renaissance men did not live up to its name or rich history by allowing a student that attempted to murder another student continue his matriculation at the college. If anything the college should have been outraged at the lenient plea deal arranged.

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dear Morehouse bro

I disagree with you about the Morehouse shooting. Even though the student was in a fight. Nobody should be denied an education

A Message From Morehouse

2009-05-07T00:05:00.002-04:00

Eliminate young African American men, and what would police, jailers, social workers, and sports and entertainment moguls do for a living?

After all, young black men live to get in trouble, make babies, act out on stage, slam-dunk and dance in the end zone. That, at least, is the mass-media-influenced image that is accepted as “authentic” by people who should know better.

Someone who does know better is Robert M. Franklin, the president of Morehouse College, the venerable, all-male, historically black Atlanta college noted for building up and turning out generations of outstanding leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr., the theologian and writer Howard W. Thurman, and prominent D.C. lawyer James L. Hudson.

Franklin’s remarks to students at an April 21 town hall meeting on the campus didn’t make headlines. But excerpts from “The Soul of Morehouse and the Future of the Mystique” are making the rounds in African American homes and in social settings, thanks to the Internet and a communications phenomenon called the “black express,” which preceded and outlives the Pony Express.

Franklin’s speech focused on Morehouse students. But his message has caught on because it speaks to a larger community of up-and-coming young black men who are studiously ignored by arbiters of popular culture.

He translated the mystique into eight simple words:
“Renaissance men with social conscience and global perspective.”

Franklin said that after two years at the college, he had recognized a critical ingredient that bonds Morehouse men: a fundamental sense of discontent with mediocrity and nonsense. He encouraged the continued development of young black men “so sensitive to the presence of disorder, mediocrity and injustice that they cannot sleep well at night.” And he used the moment to take on what he views as the corruption that threatens the soul of young men and women “inside and outside the Morehouse village”: the young black male antics so celebrated by popular culture. That conduct, he suggested, represents the behavior of “the spiritually ill and disoriented.”

He demanded, that students instead embrace his “Five Wells”: well-read, well-spoken, well-traveled, well-dressed and well-balanced. And he highlighted three: reading, speech, and dress.

“I have seen too many students standing in lines wasting time. You should carry something to read and make good use of your down time. Read books, not just summaries of books. Choose an accomplished and prolific writer as a role model,” he declared. “But just as important — if not more — study grammar and syntax and the art of composition. Learn the power of accurately constructed sentences and well-positioned words.”

“It matters,” he said, “how well you write.”

Franklin's thoughts on diversity and decorum are required reading.

"As an all-male institution with the explicit mission of educating men with disciplined minds," said Franklin, "the great challenge of this moment in history is our diversity of sexual orientation."

"Why don't we," he asked the students, "use this opportunity to model something our community needs?"

"Straight men," Franklin said, "should learn more about the outlooks and contributions of gay men. Read a book by a gay author. Have an intelligent conversation with a gay neighbor." Franklin reminded the Morehouse students: "At a time when it was truly scandalous to have homosexual friends or associates, Dr. King looked to Bayard Rustin, a black gay man, as a trusted adviser. And, Malcolm X regarded James Baldwin, a black gay man, as a brilliant chronicler of the black experience."

"To my straight brothers," he said, "diversity at Morehouse is an opportunity that can enrich your education if you are courageous enough to seize the opportunity. We cannot force you, but we invite you to learn from your environment."

On decorum and dress: "I have not desired to be overly prescriptive about this. You do not have to wear a tie and jacket to class, although no one would object to it. You're a college student. You can enjoy yourself while wearing comfortable clothing that respects the fact that you are part of a community of educated and ethical men."

But, he demanded, "in the presence of adult learners, do not sag your pants, do not show your undergarments. Do not wear do-rags, and do not wear baseball caps in class or in the cafeteria."

"Wear what you wish to off campus," he said. "But, while you are here on the ground where [Benjamin] Mays and Martin [Luther King Jr.] and Maynard [Jackson] walked, those items are off limits."

"If you want to be part of something rare and noble, something that the world has not often seen -- a community of educated, ethical, disciplined black men more powerful than a standing army -- then you've come to the right place."

To the knuckleheads and clowns who exploit their color while degrading their legacy, Franklin declared: "If you cannot follow the guidelines of a moral community, then leave."

Let the church say "Amen."

kingc@washpost.com

______________________________________

A powerful speech from the President of Morehouse that covers many issues we have in the black community, particularly among black males.

As far as being a well rounded person I couldn't agree more. It is important that the black male redefine himself. In this day in time there is no excuse for to not self improve and self progress. With the election of a black American president we have to leave the crutch of blaming the white male alone. Black men must begin to think highly of themselves. For too long the black male has been told he is a nobody. Let us stop playing that part and acting another. It starts with simply caring about our destiny. Many of us come from broken homes and places many have nightmares about. but lets not let our past dictate our future. The future begins now.

On the topic of sexual orientation and acceptance I applaud the President for making this inclusive statement. I was very weary when I learned that Franklin was a minister. I was sure he would be against the gay movement on campus. It seems like he has been very accepting and willing to learn and work with the student body in bringing the campus together.

Black Unity (VIDEO BLOG)

2009-05-05T19:28:00.000-04:00

U Need Space, REALLY?

2009-05-05T14:08:00.005-04:00

So I think a lot of us have been in this relationship spot before...
-Person 1"I need space"
Person 2 "Space for what I thought we were doing good"
Person 1 "I just think we need time apart"
Person 2 "Umm I dont get it, but if you think so"

This sounds like a selfish decision. One made by one person and not even considering what their partner thinks or the implications a decision like that has. I have been there before because I believe there is a thing called "smothering" somebody however you gotta think why one needs this "space." Space to find another dude/girl? Space or have a reason to cheat without cheating? There is always more to the issue than meets the eye.
Communication is important in relationships. I know I am not perfect at communicating my feelings but when its something serious it is vital that a couple shares feelings, whether good or bad. So this space thing I dont fully understand. It creates a void and in all cases I have heard of space was virtually the end of that relationship. So talk about it and work it out, maybe instead of space u need more honest open communication.

Tell A Hook Up Story # 7- From the Club to the Bed

2009-05-05T13:44:00.004-04:00

Its about time I did another one of these lol. Thanks for all the feedback.

Back in the day a young mind would leave the club and go right to the hook up. This is such a story. A Sunday night in Atlanta which means the Chaparral was the place to go. A few drinks in and the music poppin is the feel good sensation clubbing can bring. However this one night some dude was really checkin me out. One dance with that dude would have been enough but numbers were exchanged and suddenly it goes from there. After the club we talked outside and I almost nutted after seeing his mercedes Benz car. I knew this would be cute. So I followed him to Stone Mountain, farr from my spot near downtown Atlanta. His house was big just as I pictured it. He even had a fireplace in his bedroom. He was decent looking and had a decent body so it was definately on. It was truly a "vers" night as we both took and gave it up for a good hour maybe. You can call it a sleepover because the next morning I was treated to breakfast in bed. One of the best hook ups ever lol.

DC Council Recognizes Gay Marriage

2009-05-05T13:27:00.003-04:00

Wassup all. You all KNOW I love to blog about the DC Government and today a historic thing was done. The Council voted 12-1 to recognize same sex marrages performed in other states. Of course the odd ball to vote against it was suddenly moral Marion Barry. Barry, who has been an ally for the gay community and even promising to support this issue FLIP FLOPED on the vote citing confusion. One of the two openly gay council members David Catania called Marion Barrys stance on the issue bigotry. This sudden albatross for Barry really made him an outcast.
Surprisingly Mayor Fenty stated he will sign the bill into law.

One would have thought during the discussion that Barry started the gay rights movement as he cited his work with the gay community since 1971. I am again ashamed of Barry and personally will write a letter to his office criticizing his change of vote on this civil rights issue.

Is Chivalry Dead?

2009-04-20T19:19:00.003-04:00

Wassup people. Over the last few months I have come to question love, courtship and chivalry. Particularly in the gay community. It seems as if fu@#ing the next gorgeous guy is the main thing a gay person should achieve. But what happened to dating and actually getting to know someone? I dont particularly believe being gay is a sin but lust certainly is. We should try to appreciate someone for their character or their achievements/goals/ambitions. That is part of what being able to fall in love is about. Not just about someones looks or their dick size.
I guess there is always a ram in a bush and there is someone for everyone but lets hope that bush didnt burn down.

My Mayoral Response

2009-04-17T18:32:00.002-04:00

Mayor Adrian Fenty why wont you talk to us?

2009-04-16T11:50:00.004-04:00

For the last couple of years the mayor of the District of Columbia was a breath of fresh air from the previous Williams administration. Fenty ran as a young, zealous, energetic challenger and won the peoples hearts. As a former Council member he was well known for speaking his mind on issues and representing his ward of the city well.

Now as mayor he has really changed. He has become a mayor of seclusion and secrecy. No one knows where his travels take him. He was caught flying overseas and stated that the United Arab Emirates paid for his travels which was around $25,000. He was also caught taking a trip to where we now know was New York touring schools up there. The sad part is he was obscure and should have just been up front. It makes many wonder what is he hiding? But this is only a drop in the bucket in the plethora of issues I have with this mayor. He has shut down homeless shelters, cut funding to early education programs, did a U-turn on the DC Voting Rights Bill supporting the gun amendment and to top it off proposes that DC residents pay for their own street lights. Oh did I mention he is currently in a childish battle with the city council over baseball tickets he is withholding from them? Ludicrous right? That's not all! His administration is being investigated about selling two DC fire trucks to some foreign country and he is being sued by a former employer who alleges that the mayor fired him because he called him out about the mayors two sons being too old to play in the DC Pee-Wee division. Fenty in response stated quote, " city personnel policies forbid him from talking about the issue.

Fenty really pulled the veil over our eyes but not anymore. It is time someone spoke up and made him stand for his actions. Hiding behind bureaucracy should not work in 2009. As a native DC resident I challenge the mayor to be honest with us and not work against us. Do not bilk the residents of the District of Columbia anymore! This is not a diatribe just an honest opinion from a political observer on the current state of our mayor.

NEW POSTS SOON!

2009-04-13T17:37:00.001-04:00

Hello all, I took some time away but new posts to come. I hope everyone had a great Easter/Passover!

White-Black Wealth Gap Grows

2009-03-23T09:50:00.003-04:00

As I read my daily news this morning this fact caught my eye. "For every dollar of wealth held by the average white family, a black family has only a dime." No big surprise but apparently the gap is getting bigger not smaller. Maybe this can be blamed to people of color being targeted for subprime loans? Blacks not investing into savings? The real change we need is economics 101. Its time we become smart about our money. I always have believed in the saying work smarter not harder. This can be true to this issue in so many ways. We need to become asset builders and not waste our money on cars and rims, clothes and $100 shoes. Honestly, where does it get us in the long run? True we have a lot of rich black people but when it comes to wealth we have to look way down the line to the Oprahs when it should be all of us.

Another Wrestling Death

2009-03-14T14:40:00.004-04:00

Pro wrestling is a big thing to me. Many don't seem to understand why I like it so much. I have been a fan since the late 90's during the WWF's Attitude Era. Thing have changed a lot since then.

Wrestling is a male soap opera and really a chance to escape life. In many ways wrestling mimics are own lives. Like any form of entertainment, you watch it to enjoy it and feel a part of it. That's why I was saddened to hear of the death of yet another wrestler. Andrew Test Martin was just four days shy of his 34th birthday. I am going out on a limb here and say he probably died of some drug related problem. He was suspended from the WWE before for drug issues. However Test isn't the only one to fall to this problem.

Martin is the fourth former professional wrestlers to pass away in the Bay Area
in the past two years.

- Scott 'Bam Bam' Bigelow, 46, was found dead of a drug overdose in his Pasco
County home on January 19, 2007.

- Mike Alfonso - who wrestled under the moniker Mike Awesome - committed suicide
in his Hillsborough County home on February 17, 2007. He was 42.

- Brian Adams, 44, died of a drug overdose in his Tampa home in August 2007. He
performed under several names in his professional wrestling career, working
mostly as a tag-team wrestler.

In February 2003, Curt Henning, who wrestled as 'Mr. Perfect,' during his stint
with the WWE, was found dead in a Tampa hotel room. He was scheduled to wrestle
at the Fairgrounds the day he died; the official cause of death in that case was
determined to be cocaine intoxication.

And of course no one can forget the heinous Chris Benoit incident.

I hate it when people say "wrestling is fake." Yes it is scripted but those people put their bodies on the line when they perform. Yes those chair shots are not always real but like in anything mistakes happen and as a result their bodies take beatings. Im not justifying the drug use but we must come to understand what these wrestling entertainers go through. They spend most of their time away from their homes and families on the road entertaining us.

Your Degree versus My Degree

2009-03-13T01:47:00.006-04:00

In these hard economic times, a degree seems to be the only way to attain a decent paying job. With that said, does it matter what school you got the degree from? I was having a conversation with someone on BGC which went as follows:

BGC'er: Sometimes I feel as tho I sold myself short by going to Morgan
Me: Imma tell you like my grandmother told me. Going to any school of higher learning is an accomplishment in itself. As long as you get that degree it doesn't matter what school name is on there. U just goaa make it work for u.
BGC'er: grandmother is very wise....I never really thought of it like that.

Now it would be nice if we all could have a Harvard or Princeton, even Morehouse on our walls but that isn't the case. So no one should ever sell themselves short because they think they chose the wrong school. It's all about what you make of it. Morehouse or Harvard didn't become great schools just because of the name. It was the students that put these school on the map.

Is Being Gay A Sin?

2009-03-05T13:19:00.002-05:00

I wrote this blog a couple of years ago on Yahoo 360 and I wanted to post it here since it is still relevant to many.

Finally what you all have been waiting for the blog on is being gay a sin. This series is expressing mostly christian views and beliefs on homosexuality. Alot of what you will read is a collection of views found on this issue. Enjoy!

These two topics have recently seemed to be mutually-exclusive. Members of the religious right say that one cannot be a good Christian and be homosexual while some members of the gay community say one cannot be an honest homosexual and Christian. Both of these statements are false and show a good deal of ignorance and fear on both sides of the issue, please read on.

Homosexuality is not unique in its status as an issue some people use to justify their hatred and/or repression of others. Throughout the history of this country, the world, and the church there have been other issues that were divisive in nature: anti-Sematism, slavery, and female clergy to name a few. http://members.aol.com/gunnyding/christ.htm

How many of you or people you know are left-handed? A minority - it is a biological variation, being right-handed is the "norm" and many lefties find that functioning in a right-handed world can be difficult. The early church actually shunned such people and attempted to force everyone to use their right hand as using one's left was considered to be against God's will and the work of the Devil. http://members.aol.com/gunnyding/genesis/genesis.htm

Many non-gay Christian leaders, speakers, and followers mistakenly use certain Biblical passages to outrightly condemn homosexuality. These passages: Sodom/Gomorrah, Leviticus, Letters of Paul and Jude are used out of context without proper understanding of their original language^{6 (see Below)}, their historical surroundings, their intended purpose, and their intended audience. These failures to simultaneously examine the part while holding the whole, provides for a misunderstanding or misinterpretation of The Word. http://members.aol.com/gunnyding/right/wrong.htm

http://www.gaychurch.org/Gay_and_Christian_YES/the_bible_christianity_and_homosexuality_justin_cannon.htm

In Memoriam: The Rev. Gloria Bowden

2009-03-04T22:09:00.005-05:00

Today marks the 4th year since the passing of Rev. Gloria Bowden, someone who I had the pleasure to meet during my freshman year in college. Gloria as we called her, was one of the most open hearted people that I've ever met. When I needed to buy shower shoes and a robe for the campus showers, she gladly took me shopping to get the items. Many others around her can count of the countless times she was there when there was a need. During my second semester return back to college I called on her for a ride from the airport and although she could not pick me up herself she sent someone to get me. Apart from that, Gloria was one of the people who helped me find myself during those early years. She embraced us all as her kids, whether white or black, gay or straight, male and females alike. She is the main factor behind why I joined the Episcopal Church. Other than the glamour of the service, Gloria was the embodiment of what a true Christian should be like. Open and giving without asking in return, loving and caring, steadfast and true. Unfortunately Gloria succumbed to cancer at a young age 4 years ago today, right before my Episcopal confirmation. May the Lord let his countenance shine upon her as I know she is in a better place.

Amazing! MLK Oratory winner: Gerra Gistand

2009-03-02T19:49:00.000-05:00

My Response to New York Post Cartoon

2009-02-20T18:57:00.003-05:00

For the last few days everyone that I know have been asking me my opinion on the controversial political cartoon from the New York Post. At first I didn't make a big deal out of it, as people write their own editorial opinions everyday in the newspapers. However when I finally gave it a good look I thought that it was gory, despicable, lacks taste and substance, and racist. Other than the nasty picture of the chimp being shot with the bullet holes and the blood the caption above says it all "They will have to find someone else to write the stimulus bill." We all know president Obama has been the main supporter of the bill that just passed Congress. It was a direct attack of the president of the United States. This borderlines freedom of speech and a treat to the president. Im not even going to compare the racial implications between the chimp and President Obama.
I did some research on the creator of this mess and found that he is known for his controversial cartoons against gay people, women, you name it.
News Corp, the NY Post or someone needs to do some serious damage control.

George Mason Univ has Homecoming Drag Queen

2009-02-20T18:33:00.005-05:00

So I was amazed as I saw on the news that George Mason University selected a drag queen as their Homecoming Queen. It is an amazing thing for a school to do and achieve some would say. I wonder how many schools will follow suit after this one.
The somewhat amazing thing is this happened in Virginia, a historically conservative state, is becoming more liberal by the hour.
I congratulate him for his bravery and his feerless/fierceness!

VIDEO: Reporter Turns Ghetto in 3 Seconds

2009-02-19T20:20:00.000-05:00

My Response to Anti -Gay Article in Morehouse Maroon Tiger

2009-02-18T11:36:00.006-05:00

A Morehouse College student newspaper column titled “Is Gay the Way?” has caused a stir in Atlanta as well as the national blogosphere, with many gay and transgender activists accusing the writer of being homophobic. The opinion article, published Feb. 16 in The Maroon Tiger, questioned masculine norms at the all-male historically black college.

Gerren Gaynor, who wrote the column and serves as the paper’s associate opinions editor, told Southern Voice he believes his message has been misunderstood.

“In no way was my article an anti-gay piece,” said Gaynor, a sophomore English major.

“This article was exclusive about the way in which it affects the campus of Morehouse College and no other institution, not even the United States government … While I do agree that I went about my topic the wrong way — and please be advised that this was an article done over night for a weekly college publication — it is completely wrong to disregard the feelings of other students on campus, gay and straight, because every homosexual is not comfortable with seeing a man with feminine qualities,” he said. “Nowhere in my article do I attack gays. The article is strictly a critique on gender norms.”

In his column, Gaynor states, “It’s not so much that ‘straight’ men of Morehouse are uncomfortable with the gay lifestyle, but more so because that the lifestyle is constantly and robustly thrown in their faces. Does being a gay man include adopting the traits of a woman? Because if that’s the case, there’s a more fitting school, and it’s not an all-male institution.

“Over the years, despite social divergence on campus, the Morehouse community has done its share to both accept and adjust to the growing homosexual population. But don’t you think this has gone too far? A boy with a pocket book is far,” Gaynor wrote. “I’m all for being who you are. If you like women, go on and date women. If you like men, be my guest and date men. But if you are born a man, you should be just that — a man. If I have to look twice to tell if I’m looking at a man or woman on an all male campus, then something is tragically wrong …

“I’m not saying that having gay students at this institution damages the image of Morehouse, but as the only all male African American liberal arts college in America, we have a certain image to uphold and a man with hair weave just isn’t it.”

*****

As a product of Morehouse I am ashamed that this article appeared in a notable paper like the Maroon Tiger. I was someone that worked with Safe Space, Morehouse GB group that attempted to try to defeat these stereotypes. The writer needs to understand that he is living in a microcosm of a world. There are effeminate men in the world and if they choose to go to Morehouse or any other male institution then its their right. While I respect the authors opinion, I believe that he needs to listen and learn before he writes anything else with the word "Gay" in it. This type of writing draws division and promotes stereotypes. Morehouse with its rich legacy must overcome the battle of homosexuality by first acknowledging that homosexuals in every capacity attend Morehouse and that Morehouse must move past an idle stance on this topic by educating the student body and holding serious conversations to break these stereotypes that many have.

V-Day/ Check out my newly designed blog page

2009-02-14T23:01:00.003-05:00

Wassup all, I hope that your Valentines Day went well. I spent mine doing some things for me and family. This commercialized holiday shouldn't be the only day you tell your loved ones that you love them. It should happen 365 a year.

I don't really have much to say on Valentines day, and from reading other blogs it seems a lot of people are turned off by the day. Highly understandable, especially if you are single. I took this day to treat myself. I am my best commodity lol.

I also decided to launch this newly designed page which I will be tweaking for the next few days. Hope you like it!

The Best Monologue on the Tonight Snow

2009-02-13T23:35:00.002-05:00

Real Talk: HIV AIDS EPIDEMIC IN DC and Black Males

2009-02-08T11:25:00.005-05:00

So I woke up this morning to some startling news on the TV. One out of every twenty adults in Washington, DC is believed to be HIV-positive. All I could think was WTF. DC is a city with almost 600,000 residents so were talking almost half the city's population has HIV, roughly the same proportion of people as in the sub-Saharan region of Africa. In that number blacks make up the bulk of the reported cases.
According to federal health officials from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2006, more new HIV infections occurred among young black men who have sex with men than in any other segment of the U.S. population. That same year, black women acquired new HIV infections at 15 times the rate of white women. The CDC conducted further investigation after the state Health Department reported a 20 percent increase in HIV-positive black men from 2004-05 to 2006-07. Among black men ages 17-25, the increase was 45 percent.

I am battling two issues. The AIDS problem in DC and the AIDS problem among black males. What are we doing? We are killing ourselves. First to address the DC AIDS problem. This is again another issue the DC Council should be tackling as opposed to fining someone for not cleaning the snow off their cars. Thank God for the private organizations like the Whitman Walker Clinic and local charities, churches and celebs that raise money for awareness of this issue.

Black males, we are the most infected with HIV in the country. It seems like we are killing ourselves off. We don't need the KKK anymore. If its not guns or violence its AIDS. Black males we need to wake up and see that we are dying off, soon to be an endangered species. The sad part is we are taking the females with us. We need to be upfront and honest with ourselves. If you are having relations without a condom, male or female then you need to get tested and pray you get a second chance to do it right. This can all be avoided by making the right decisions. However as a black male I can say that this is an innate problem. We need to think of ourselves as leaders and rulers and not as thugs or queers just trying to get by. Times are hard this is true and its 3x as hard for the black male however it takes a real person with the fortitude and will to survive the challenges and come out strong. Its time we pull our pants up, and start respecting ourselves and our people.

More DC Talk: Snow Police

2009-02-07T13:22:00.003-05:00

So the wonderful city that I reside in is now trying to make it a law that you must completely clean off your car before driving after a snow storm or face a stern warning. The original idea was to fine the law breaker $50 if caught driving with a car covered with snow. However that thankfully was knocked down.

I think this council has LOST it. DC is the first jurisdiction in the nation to impose this type of law. I wish the council would battle more troubling issues like hmm maybe more jobs for DC residents, school reform or maybe explain the 4 homicides in ward 8 during the inauguration. Seems like all the police were downtown and none patrolling the communities that needed them most. DC has been the laughing stock of the nation for too long. Its time we put someone in these offices (DC) that really want to make changes not just aggravate the people.

DC Council Considers ban on Blunts? WTF

2009-02-04T17:46:00.002-05:00

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/DC-Council-Considers-Ban-On-Blunts.html

As if the DC Council, the District of Columbia's governing legislative branch, didn't have anything else better to do they are considering a ban on blunts in order to prevent people from stuffing them for marijuana. The proposed ban is focused on teens that partake in this 'puff puff' transfer. Does the council really think this is going to curb teens from smoking? Is not marijuana already illegal? I think that they need to focus on improving our schools other than trying to play parents.

Funny video Eve and Gay Adam

2009-02-02T23:15:00.000-05:00

Exposed! 25 Random Things About Me

2009-02-01T16:15:00.009-05:00

Happy Sunday people! I know not many gay people are into sports like I am but if you are watching the Superbowl today you should know that the Steelers are going to win. I am a Cowboys/Falcons fan..I know two teams but who cares..however im sticking to the east coast team.

I have several blogs sitting in drafts waiting to be posted that I haven't finished. So there is a lot more to come. I have to say I have been reading some good blogs lately. Oh yea My Urban Tales series will continue as well with the stunt queen story which I have been getting many emails about.

Every so often I like to just write directly to the readers as opposed to having a main topic of discussion. Mostly to answer questions publicly raised in the blog comments. Today however I am giving you all more. Facebook has started this 15-20-or 25 random things about you chain where you post a number of random things about you that most people don't know. I have contemplated doing this since I am a private person and like to keep my skeletons in the closet if you will but 2009 is a time for honesty and transparency so here it is! I know there will be questions which i'll address in a separate blog lol.

1. Im extremely stubborn
2. My favorite cereal is Apple Jacks
3. I can play a video game for 24 hours straight
4. I like to gamble.
5. I just learned how to play spades last year.
6. I've had 6 cars in 5 years. (No accidents)
7. I never got a speeding ticket.
8.I have driven from DC to Atlanta back and fourth 16 times.
9. I have a weakness for trimmed bushy eyebrows
10. I love old school music
11. I've been called a "homo thug"
12. I have very few close female friends
13. I ran my high school like the mafia
14. My first pet was a rabbit
15. I love to cook
16. I've done more than enough webcam "shows"
17. I want to name my son after me KDJ III
18. I have never gone to the hospital
19. I once kicked a boy through a wall taking Tae Kwon Do
20. I was once a borderline alcoholic
21. I've only smoked weed once and never got high
22. I like my men short
23. I've been told I look like Chris Tucker and Mario
24. I've never understood femme lesbians..umm get a man?
25. I have to visit the ghetto in any city I go to..the real city

BONUS!!!
26. I've thought about being a professional wrestling sports commentator
27. I once wanted to own my own funeral home (Recession proof)
28. I have met Michael Jordan, Usher, Jermaine Dupree, Tyler Perry, Paula Abdul, Chris Tucker, Kareem Abdul Jabar, Terrence Howard, Andre 3000, Valerie Simpson, of Ashford and Simpson and almost met Michael Jackson and LL Cool J
29. I know im bound for greatness, just don't see the whole path yet
30. I hate the fact people look at me differently if I dress urban as opposed to wearng a suit.
31. Im handy at fixing things
32. I once went clubbin 7 days straight (revival)

Tell A Hookup Story #6

2009-01-28T23:15:00.006-05:00

I know a lot of ya'll have been waiting for this story so let me get right into it. The stunt queen. Well as I said in the previous story we met one night off BGC and I went to the Hilton where he was staying. Nice hotel so I figured someone had some money. He seemed cool and quiet, kinda shy at first. I went up to the room and we had salutations. I sat down and he offered some drinks from the cooler I mixed a tonic and soda water. We chilled and talked until we fell asleep. He had two beds in the room and thats how we slept but by the morning only one bed was being used lol. The conversation the night before was what I call a get-to-know-you kinda convo. No sex was involved although we ended up in the same bed, just cuddling and more sleeping. We didn't get up till 11 am, but note we went to sleep probably around 5 am.

He then told me as we got dressed that he was a stunt queen. Since I am well versed in gay terminology I knew immediately what he meant. I said it was cool, but I was more curious with how the whole operation worked. I never got details, but listening in on a few convos with his "fam" gave me an idea. So as he checked out the hotel I met his gay family that was also in the scene. They seemed cool and we agreed to meet up later.

That would never happen as I came to learn a year later he was locked up for stolen checks found in his car during a stop for speeding in Alabama. We continued to talk for a while, even hooking u a few times and going to a bar or a club. As of this story though, we haven't talked in a while but I hope that he is trying to get his life together.

Being Gay Is A Gift From God?

2009-01-27T01:56:00.007-05:00

Wow so I had to spin this blog off the gayte-keepers blog "Ready to male part II." Being that I am an Episcopalian and have been since 2005 I was not surprised to see that it was an Episcopal priest that made that comment on Oprah. It really has me thinking now about the subject. When I came into acceptance of my lifestyle ironically enough it was the Episcopal church that helped me affirm it. I struggled in my early days of college even trying to "turn straight" at one point. I think a lot of us go through that phase. Nonetheless The late Rev. Gloria Bowden God rest her soul was one who helped me out. I started to read books on this and study the concept of homosexuality and the church. I can almost write a dissertation on the topic but in all I have come to not only come to terms but also think its not a sin. I know a lot of people may disagree with it but thats how I feel.
I've been to many churches that spew hate from the pulpit and I think is this what Jesus meant by love your brother? People historically have used the Bible for their own personal gain. It was used to justify slavery, the denial of womens rights among so many things. Why don't we for once use the good book for its true purpose. Not to degrade and put down people but to lift people up.

Thank You to my Friends!

2009-01-26T20:16:00.008-05:00

Hello all, I am dedicating this blog to all my friends around this country. Through many of my ordeals I have realized that there is a select few that stick around.

My brothers Carl, Dutch, Mike, Michael Scott, Perez and Durian. You all have come into my life at different phases and you have been the most honest and open hearted people I have met. I could say so much like Carl's open heart, Mike's open and funny spirit, Mike Scotts genuine concern and shared vernacular (inside joke) or Dutch's authentic country accent lol. I truly care for you all.

My bestfriend Jonathan- although we haven't talked much lately we have shared a lot of very intimate moments together. You wear my clothes and I wear yours even the expensive stuff lol. I even forgot you had my Billionaire Boys Club shirt. And you didn't care I wore your ferragamos. I could never get that burberry scarf to go with my shirt though lol. You have been there for better or worse and we have taken many road trips and talked about just about literally everything. Not many people know me as well as you do and our now 6 year friendship is something I cherish.

Close friends Adam, JB, Corey, Zedrick- You all have been in my life for quite a well and a few of you all have seen a very different side of me. Adam always happy to lend a ear and concerned about my well-beingg, JB what can I say we share a storied past yet we remain good buddies. Corey you are my buddy for life and I know that you are going somewhere as the next Quincy Jones. Zedrick we have been friends for a looong time. Although we have never met we have kept in communication for all this time. Even when I met your ex during his trip to ATL for Morehouses homecoming all he could talk about was you. You are a very unique person and reliable in a time of need.

Extended friends Mendoza, Reece, Tray, Jason. Mendoza you're my adopted brother through Perez. We had some great times together and you have a genuine heart. Reece like Mendoza you have a great heart. You both were dating dudes that were older than you and I tried to be there to listen to your stories. I know you all will find what u want in life. Tray I could write a book on our friendship. From BFF to barely even speaking to kinda talking again. We have come a long way and I know I royally screwed up our friendship. I was young and dumb and put money over friendship. I am glad you found it in your heart to forgive me. I mean we really had some FUN times. Its so funny because you're a republican, im a democrat, you wanna pledge Q and I want to pledge A yet we got a long so well.
Jason as the oldest dude I ever dated I saw that you have a genuine heart and selfless ambition. Although we went through some rough times and I had to let it go I appreciate your maturity and your "fatherhood" ways.

Relationship No More

2009-01-25T23:40:00.003-05:00

Hello all, I write this blog with an inept feeling. So as you may know my relationship has struggled over the last month. My now ex blames me for the majority if it. It was pretty much his way or the highway. He wanted so much damn attention that I could not give at this stage in my life. I have finally realized that I do not want a relationship until I have settled on some of my goals. I have come to see that being young and in a relationship is almost a joke unless you are both going in the same direction and apparently we were pulling different ways. Nonetheless I have no hard or ill feelings against him. He is still a good person and I hope he finds his true happiness. Its funny how we broke up, over yahoo messenger. No call (which he said he would do the previous night) just a mutual agreement to end it. I think one of the other problems most people have with relationships including us is how to make it last without becoming so stagnant and frankly boring. We had the greatest time together but away from each other it was hard. I felt like I was in a long distance relationship. We saw each other barely once a week because of his work schedule and the fact that he lived 30-45 minutes away. My car not being operational didn't help either. So all in all as much as I wish it could have gone on and the potential he showed because it's hard as hell to find a good dude, I didn't want to beat a dying horse.

MLK 2009: A Dream Deferred in the Inner City

2009-01-19T02:36:00.002-05:00

Today as we celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King's birthday we must remember that although we will officially have a black president Tuesday at noon, Kings dream is not finished. We as a country and as a people have come so far in 45 years yet in many ways things remain the same. African-Americans make up roughly 14% of the population but make up over half of the prison population. Black males are missing from families and children are growing up without dads. Drugs, violence and poverty overwhelm the black inner cities which could be compared to some third world countries. The fight for democracy is not in Iraq or North Korea or Iran the fight is right here in our homeland where gun shots and death is a common tune on the local news. The dream deferred to inner city America where predominantly black Americans live. A dream that seems like only that, a dream.
In order to make this dream that Dr. King once had reality we must stop bigotry, arrogance and selfishness and return to our core values. One can never make it until they at least pull someone up with them. Some black leadership in our urban communities are too stuck on titles to actually get the peoples business done. We see neighborhoods on the south side of Chicago, parts of the Bronx and Brooklyn, east of the Anacostia river in DC, the West End of Atlanta and other impoverished areas where we have the audacity to gentrify the neighborhoods and push the poor out the door without at least giving a helping hand yet we worry about titles and the kind of cars we drive and the neighborhood with the family home (in the suburbs) with the 2.5 children and a family dog. We call that the American dream? It is only the American dream when every American can live their true dreams out or as our constitution so eloquently put it the pursuit of happiness. We must lose the crabs in a barrel mentality that has always existed among blacks. A dream deferred is not a dream that is no longer possible, it is just a dream put on hold. It is now time to make a real change. There are no more excuses.

KDJones II

Inaugural Update

2009-01-19T00:43:00.004-05:00

Sup all I have been so caught up in inaugural festivities I have not been on here to read or write. Just a quick update i'll be attending one of these snazzy balls Tuesday night. My main goal, networking lol. DC is full of buzz. As a native of this city I cant recall in my lifetime when this city was popping the way it is. Sure I was at the million man march but that has nothing on this. Speaking of that march where is Farrakhan?

If you're not here in DC keep yours prayers in this direction for all the millions converged here and for Obama as he takes on not only the presidency but all the burdens that will hit him Wednesday morning.

Old Washington Blade article with yours truly

2009-01-15T00:50:00.003-05:00

2005 DC pride panel discussion I took part in. Also before I found the gym lol.

http://www.washblade.com/2005/6-3/news/national/racism.cfm

To shoot or not

2009-01-12T15:59:00.004-05:00

Wassup all, I was highly disturbed when I saw the footage of that young black man being shot in the back at the metro station in California. That officer had no provocation to do what he did. He took a mans life for no reason. It goes to show that police brutality is real and racism still exists. Not too many things move me but when I saw the blatant disregard for protocol by that officer I was disturbed. He deserves the same punishment he gave to that young man; a firing squad.

Question For Ya'll

2009-01-07T22:32:00.002-05:00

If your BF/significant other got upset because you didn't call him/her all day would you get upset and throw a fit?

Tell A Hookup Story #5

2009-01-03T18:20:00.038-05:00

Todays story is more of a funny one. So as you all know I use to work at a resteraunt in Atlanta. So one day I was working this birthday party with about 15 people. Everyone but one person was there so we started taking orders. This boy finally comes and I could tell he was gay, and kinda cute. I was very professional with him like I am with everybody. So I had a second party come in half way through their visit so I moved on to them since there was 2 of us working this one party. All went well and about a month later I was on myspace and I guess randomly started talking to this boy. We chat, exchange numbers and talked on the phone. I was discussing where I worked when he said he dined there before with his friends for someone's birthday. Since I worked most of the large parties I was sure that I had to have run across him. It was finally revealed that he was the one in the party that night lol. He said that after he came I started acting strange which wasn't the case. I just had another group to do. So one Sunday he invited me over for pizza and to chill and watch a movie. He was rooming with this lesbian who I really liked. She was real cool and down to earth. So we eat chill talk..nothing sexual at all. Since it was Sunday night we decided to go to the Chaparelle, one of Atlanta big gay Sunday night spots. We go and have a blast. While there, I run into another dude that I was kinda talking to, but nothing serious. His story is one that will knock yours socks off. I met him at the Hilton about a year earlier. He does what you call a 'stunt queen' We chilled and drinked the night I met him and I slept at the hotel, no sex. Anyway after a while I never hear from him. Come to find out he was in jail for 6 months. Anyway thats a whole blog in itself cause theres way more. So back to Brian I slept at his house that night after we had talked ourselves to sleep. Brian and I really hit it off. He had just recently broke up with his boyfriend and so had I. AND we were both leos which can be a good or a bad thing. The sex was hot and we always had a good time together at Piedmont Park, Joes on Juniper..ATLIENS yall know what im talkn about lol. But I think I rubbed him the wrong way though when I showed up at his place unexpectedly. It was a surprise visit but it didn't go as planned. The texts and phone calls and im's became very few until there was little communication. I saw him and his lesbian friend in the club and me being stubborn I didn't say much to him. His friend came over and said hello. This story doesn't end like most of them because we no longer talk. I honestly completely forgot about him until I went through my yahoo list. I have no ill will against him and I hope he is doing well.

The next story will be about the stunt queen and all that transpired there. The people I run into lol.

How important is sex in a relationship?

2009-01-03T18:02:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year my fellow bloggers! I hope that ya'll had a safe and enjoyable new year. So I decided to start my blog about something I have found myself in. Sex or the lack there of in my current relationship. So the 13th will mark 4 months since we have been together and we have not had a lot of sexual relations. The only reason for that is we both do not have our own place for that to happen. So I know you're thinking well rent a hotel room. It's in the works but he doesn't want it to seems planned. Which leads me to the question how important is sex in a relationship? Can one survive with only a little of it, or even a lot?

To reply to some questions from my last posts first my decision is not final yet on my possible relocation but I will keep ya'll updated on that.

Second my blog stories are not in a book yet but that idea has been thrown around. My original purpose was not to write a book but I think I am enjoying writing these stories as much as you all enjoy reading them. Im not sure how many i'll do but there is surely a lot more to come.

The End of Twenty 08 (Last Blog of the Year)

2008-12-31T10:21:00.003-05:00

Well if you are reading this you made it through another year. 525,600 minutes as the play/movie Rent put it. This has been a year of many trials and tribulations for me to say the very least, and im glad to see it go. 2009 couldn't come at a better time. People need to feel refreshed and rejuventated and a new year is what the doctor ordered. Maybe next year we can do things different, not just for ourselves but for others. Maybe we can show love and compassion for the sick, edlerly and poor. Maybe in 2009 we will be a little bit nicer to each other. I believe that every little bit helps and every change makes a difference so when you put it all together things come out looking so much better than you could have imagined.

For 2009 the first year with a new black president, I am really glad to see that we are moving in the right direction as a country. I pray for Obama's safety and judgment as he takes office January 20th. I pray for an economic relief for all who are struggling and for cures to maladies and diseases in 2009. I pray for the grandmother that prays for me daily. I pray for families to come together again and put aside past issues. Let 2009 truly be the year of change.

Happy New Year!

Torn in Between the Two (No not Love)

2008-12-29T01:19:00.003-05:00

Wassup all, I hope you had a good Christmas and that you are as excited as I am for the upcoming year. 2009 is going to be a good year. Obama is going to make some changes that we need desperately.

So tonight I am bit conflicted. I am having serious thoughts about returning back to Atlanta. In addition to missing my friends, church down there, an extention of my freedom and of course the night life, I feel like I didn't complete my task there. I want to go back to school since the job market is looking slow and what better than to continue my pursuit of happiness than by getting more education. Wonderful idea if I had the money to finance it. It seems like as a political science major I can't find many scholarships. I know my gpa is not what it was in high school where I was Valedictorian but life hit me hard after my first year of college. Morehouse is one helluva school to pay for. 30 G's and it goes up every year.Sure I have a lot of scholarships but only covered half. Its funny I did so well my freshman year and stayed in the club lol. However once I moved off campus (since it saved me a lot of money) got a car, since the Marta in ATL literally goes nowhere, my focus on school slacked drastically. I don't know how people manage school and a full time job but my hat goes off to them. I took a job at a restaurant that paid good tip money since I was good at what I did.

DC right now is not giving me promise. The only thing that is really keeping me here other than trying to finance school is my BF, and my family. My family however can live without me since they are use to me coming and going away to school. I am pondering on asking if my BF would consider moving to Atlanta. He's never been there before and the only thing really keeping him here is his brother and his job. Im sure he can transfer to a Best Buy in Atlanta since he has recieved high commendations on his work. Still its a big step and a lot to ask. Of course I could do school here in DC where it would be wayyyy cheaper, infact so cheap the school would be giving me money back lol. Still I would want to continue to work and get my own place. Since I wrote this I think I may have made a decision.

Tell A Hookup Story #4

2008-12-29T00:57:00.003-05:00

So I have to write about a really funny time I had at this gay conference. (Yes a gay conference_ The HRC sponsored an HBCU summit every year in DC for students that wanted to network and help manage their campus GLBT organizations.I went for 3 years and just about every year has a story, lol so I will just write about the most interesting time I had. My last year at the conference I had spotted this dude that I though was so smart and cute. I even told my bestfriend who was there that I was going to get him. I guess I played my cards right. The dude we'll call Mickey. So Mickey and I didn't even talk at all the first day. It so happened that we started talking on capitol hill where we were lobbying members of Congress to support the HRC and share our stories. Believe it or not, we took an extended lunch break, bought some liquor for our "social later on that night" left the liquor with his friend since he attended Howard and headed back to the hill. On the way we talked and got to know each other.

When we got back to the hotel it was on! I acted as a bartender since I had the most skills at the time from working behind a bar. Let me tell you when you put gay ppl and liquor together in a room, it all comes out! It was maybe 7 of us in the room. Dudes were starting to get a little frisky if you know what I mean. They started playing this game where you have to blindfold someone and act out their fantasy. Oh the catch, the lights are out! Lawd when those lights came on this nikka was naked! lol. It sounded like phone sex to be honest since you couldn't see anything. So they ended up leaving and it was just me Mickey and two other dudes. It was hella silent because all I could hear was those two kissing and it was dark. Mickey and I at this point were already laying down in the bed because I decided to give him a massage before that crazy game started.We started kissing and taking off clothes, and dry humping for a bit. Next to us I could hear the bed rocking which meant they were wayyy ahead of us. However we didnt get that far since we had fell asleep together. Now in the morning was a different story. it was soo funny coming down to breakfast late and I know everyboy knew but hey it was cute lol. Mickey and I were an item for those few days. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. I was so pissed when we had to leave. My bestfriend was like you got it bad lol.

So today we are still friends, more like associates. I eventually came back to DC of course and we spent the night together again. Got a damn parking ticket because of street cleaning but it was worth it lol. Ironically I saw him in the club like a month ago and my current BF was with me so I introduced them. No shade I keep it real. Now had Mickey tried to flirt with me it would have been a different story but I knew he wouldn't do that.

A Poem For You

2008-12-24T01:38:00.001-05:00

I tried to find a poem for you

to try something different, fair and true

I searched for hours with no luck at all

It was like searching for love again

like i use to do in a mall

browsing from place to place

looking for the right thing to say

so I decided to write my own poem

one that expresses my very thoughts

I need you like a heart needs a beat

man that's so deep

I just can't sleep

Until I finish this poem

Im not the one to be soft

Cause when I did people scoffed

But now that I have you

The days are no longer blue

This poem is almost over now

But before I say ciao

I hope you got a little bit of my thoughts

one in a million

just like your heart.

KDJONES 08

Are Gay Relationships Different?

2008-12-22T23:47:00.004-05:00

I was reading a Time magazine article written early this year about gay relationships. It gave a story of a gay couples fire that had just blown out. They tried therapy amongst other things but it just ended. I was saddened to read the article and it makes me feel like relationships in general are futile. It raise many points about how gays have a hard time making up and the apathy that gays express when there is an issue in the relationship. I had a discussion with my significant other on this topic:

David: i guess in a since nothing last forever..according to that story
Keith: yea as far as gay relationships are concerned
David: they do...but in my eyes...communication is key..without it..relationships wont last
Keith: thats part of it
David: whats the other part
Keith: this is addressing the longevity of gay relationships and each one is different, i think after a period of time even str8 ppl go through that phase of relighting the spark
Keith: it may just be a compatibility issue
David: yea i agree
David: and furthermore..i think men in general just get bored
Keith: well that would explain the high divorce rate

So I must ask is all the searching for "that one" worth it?
And when you do find that person do get bored or find that since you have completed that challenge you can just "lounge" around on the relationship?

Tell A Hookup Story #3

2008-12-21T00:17:00.003-05:00

The next story in this series is about a time I almost got caught by my room mate. So it was freshman year roughly into October I believe and I was talking to this dude we'll call JD. JD was a high school senior planning on possibly attending Morehouse after he finished. I believe we met on m4n or bgc. Anyway I thought he was really cute and mature so we decided to have "regular sessions. We also hung out a lot since he passed the gaydar. So one weekend my roommate left to go out of town. Anytime he left, I took advantage of it. I would immediately make plans for the weekend while he was away.

One of the advantages of going to an all-male school is that since no one knows everyone, dudes could easily slip by the no female visitors and curfew. Funny though that was actually brought up in a dorm council meeting on which I sat as fundraising chairman. It didn't get far but it was a laugh to me.

So I called JD and made plans for him to stay the weekend. Friday and Saturday went smooth but we spent most of the time out of the dorm. Sunday though, as we were I guess getting last nutts in we took a risk so I literally moved that big tall dorm dresser/closet thing in front of the door. Thank God I did. As we were in the middle of it, I hear some keys and the door knob trying to turn. I hopped up fast as did JD, rushed to pull up our pants and I went to move the closet thingy. I made up an excuse saying the door must have been jammed. My roommate had seen JD before so he was familiar.

Thinking about it now, my roommate met a lot of my pieces and probably didn't even realize it lol. I'm thinking now I wonder if my roommate ever heard me phone boning lol or saw anything on my pc, although he rarely if ever used it. However I would be on that webcam having the time of my life..I wonder if he ever saw what I was doing under that desk which was turned to face hims o he couldn't see the screen. LOL the life of living undercover.

Even if he knew I was gay, he was a cool dude. I respected his boundries and never attempted to hit on him although my bestfriend thought he was sexy. He wasn't my type, he was skinny and homely lol. He wasn't the neatest person but I swear when he cut his hair junior year, LAWD!

I recall having arguments with gay friends about our roommates and their sexuality. I had a crush my bestfriends roommate as he did mine. We were going to switch rooms for one night but it never happened. His roommate had this southern accent with this BIG nice round ass. In this discussion my bestfriend brought up the fact that one night he heard his roommate masterabating. Quote, "all I heard was squish squish." LOL college days.

Is Tithes to the Church still Relevant?

2008-12-20T22:51:00.003-05:00

I feel like a sinner for asking this question but I do want to hear your opinions. I did a Google search for tithing and got mixed results. Mostly a lot of Bible scriptures stating that we should tithe. Of course the origins go back to taxes, but is tithing relevant in 2008? The Bible commands that we pay 10% of any income we receive to the church. The words of Malachi, reaffirmed by Jesus, promise those who bring their tithes into the storehouse that the Lord will open "the windows of heaven, and pour [them] out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." The promised blessings are temporal and spiritual. The Lord promises to 'rebuke the devourer,' and he also promises tithe payers that 'all nations shall call you blessed, for ye shall be a delightsome land' (3 Ne. 24:10-12; Mal. 3:10-12)."

I am always curious to see and hear how one is blessed. I know I am although I may want more and in time hopefully I will. Surely it is a blessing just to be in good health and have a sound mind but in times of trouble does our faith pull us out or our tithes? Is tithing an old thing like not eating shell fish?

Time Flies By, a Reflection

2008-12-20T12:54:00.004-05:00

Wassup all I know it has been a few days since my last blog. I have been trying to get into the Christmas season which just came so fast thsi year. This leads me to my blog for today. Doesn't it feel like time, or life just seems to be passing by? I know the old saying time flies when you're having fun but I think its more than that, and it's not just me that thinks so. I know that in our daily lives we become so accustomed to repetition that we don't notice some things until we stop and think. It feels just like yesterday 9/11/01 happened. Now its almost the year 2009. I find myself thinking can I keep up with time? I turn 24 in 2009, to which the thought i feel old lol. However with this time flux if you will, I have come to appreciate this life more and more. The ups and downs, love, hate, and fear to name a few.

I was watching the animal planet channel one day and there was a show about cats. Some cat owners put a camera around the cats neck so they could see what the cat was doing when they were away at work. The camera took a picture every 10 minutes. The images were amazing and I said all of this to say what a beautiful world we live in. The picture that stood out the most to me showed the deep green blades of grass with the sun high in the sky.

This entire blog leads me to say despite all of the everyday issues we have with our loved ones, friends, and even our own internal conflicts, just stop and look around and live to appreciate because that loved one may not be there tomorrow. Take time to take in God's green earth because even that seems to be fading everyday. Time waits for no man, it only passes you by, and life will still go on.

Shoes Thrown at President Bush!

2008-12-14T23:23:00.002-05:00

OMG LMAO Ya'll check this out.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7782422.stm

Tell a hook up story # 2

2008-12-11T20:02:00.004-05:00

Alrite time for story #2 in this series of real life tales. Tonight I want to talk about this dude that had been stalking me in class lol. Ok this was 2 or 3 years ago and I had this dude in my political science class that apparently had been watching me for a long time. He hit me up online one day and I remember trying to figure out who in the world was he. Of course I went over the people that I wanted it to be that was in the class lol but found out it was someone else. Since my bestfriend was also in that class with me I had him help scope out who it could have been. So eventually he decided that he was going to see me after class. He was ok looking, not who I expected because you couldn't tell he was gay at all. We walked and talked and exchanged numbers. I think about a month went by before I invited him over to my place. We talked online a lot in between that time. So he drove way out to Austell, GA, about 15 mins down I-20 from downtown ATL where my bestfriend and I had moved to. When he came in we talked, watched a movie in my room. We were discussing wrestling since I am a big fan and he told me that he used to wrestle. Eventually started wrestling lol. He was really good actually. So that led to kissing, sucking, rubbing, stroking and nutting lol. After that he decided he was going to cook for me so we went to the local Kroger, a grocery store in the south, and he made this delicious alfredo. He stayed the night, nothing else happened till the morning where we got our freak on before he left to go to work. We still talk actually to this day. We have had many "sessions" over the years and I found out that he wanted to date me. I brushed him off since I wasn't feeling him like that. I realize now why i've been called a heartbreaker.

Flaws and ALL

2008-12-11T19:44:00.002-05:00

Wassup all, so I have been having a lot of heart to hearts lately, but today it really broke me down. I feel like I was disected or something. It all came to reveal that I am severely burned. Im so scarred from the past that I can't even say I love you to close friends, not to mention my significant other. I have always been a private person, some would say an introvert and I just blamed it on nature. Im big on the zodiac and horoscopes so I blame my Leonic ways lol.

I remember I use to love hard. I use to have hard crushes and really had love for all my boyfriends. Now I feel like im indifferent. Even worse I have someone that truly likes me but I don't know how to return the favor. I know I have always had a problem communicating how I feel, because to be its a weakness, but now I think I need to confront that issue. Im really feeling Beyonce's song flaws and all, cause thats how I feel.

Tell a hook up story # 1

2008-12-11T00:50:00.005-05:00

So as I was chatting on yahoo tonight with my friend I ended up talking about my promiscous past. People always say about themselves that they can write books, well I am going to start a series of blogs lol based on my past sexual experiences. I will try to remember the great details to keep you hooked. Some of this may shock you. Some may even judge. Its all good, I have been there. I just want you to enjoy it. No editing. No censoring, pure unadulterated hook ups. Plus my commentary of course lol.

For obvious reasons I will not disclose any real names. So Apparently I just found out as im typing this that my friend who lived in LA two years ago messed with this same Asian dude that I messed with 2 years ago when he was visiting ATL. We described him to the point.

So I forgot his name but we'll call him Chen, I met him on BGC one Sunday afternoon when I should have been studying. Horny and studying don't go along so I did my daily routine of getting on BGC. I am a very picky person so half the messages I didnt respond to. However this cute Asian dude had sent me a message. He was short, like I like my dudes, had a pretty smile and a decent body. We exchanged messages to reveal he was visiting from LA and wanted to get into something. We then exchanged numbers and then we talked on the phone for a little bit. I can recall he had this West coast accent that really turned me on. He told me he was staying at the Westin in downtown Alanta, no more than 10 minutes from where I was and asked if I wanted to roll through. Horny and satisfied with his qualifications I took the bait. I hopped in the car and headed down MLK drive toward downtown Atlanta.

I found a parking spot in the parking lot of the City Cafe where my friends and I would go after clubbing sometimes. I walked about 1/2 a block towards the hotel and gave him a call. He told me his room number 700 something, so I thought immediately he must have a good view. (Google Westin in ATL and you can see what I mean) So I finally made my way to the elevators, which moved fast as hell to the floor. I knocked and he opened. He was dressed very urban, looking very much like his pics. We chatted for a bit about the time he was spending in ATL and he had showed me what he had bought. I remember thinking this dude is really tryna be a blasian lol. But then I went for it. I went down and pulled down his zipper, took out his dick an started sucking. I can still remember the pubic hair being wavy and looking a little different lol. His piece was ok, what I expected for an Asian lol. He was making all this noise and talkin trash which sounded hot as hell. So we took it to the bed, took off our clothes and 69'd till we both came. he nutted on my chest and I on his face, oops lol. A hot oral session to say the least. I remember texting him for for a few weeks after, with him telling me he wanted me to come to LA and visit him. However we lost contact over time. That was my first and only time with an Asian dude.

Relationships are tough Part I of who knows

2008-12-09T00:38:00.003-05:00

Well since everyone I follow posted a blog I thought I would post a more personal one. I appreciate the comments I have been getting and I have enjoyed reading a lot of your blogs. Too much at times lol but certainly enjoyable.

Tonight I sit here a man in a relationship going on officially 2 months unofficially 4 months. That means we dated for 2 months before we made it official. Anyway I have been in 5 relationships since Aug 2004, the time I "came out" and to say the least this one is different. First its different because its the first person I have ever dated in DC, my hometown. All of my exes lived in ATL where I had my own place, own car, I did my own thing. Now that I am back home in DC trying to re-establish myself it has not been easy trying to maintain a relationship. Don't get me wrong, dude is a good fit and very understanding. He has his own issues to deal with like trying to find an apartment and move away from his grandmother. He too had an apartment but got burned by his roommate not holding up his end of the deal so he moved out. Now the difference between us is that he is working pretty much as a manager at Best Buy making pretty good money. Me, well my lousy job isnt paying much, but I thank God for it. His hours are kinda rough. He works in the evenings, I work in the day. So we picked Sunday, a day we are both off, to hang out. I am committed to this relationship although it is tough now, because I know this situation wont last always. The economy is rough and jobs are scarce, even in DC but im searching for something better and trying to finish school at the same time. So many times I have thought about just going back to ATL. There I am guaranteed a job with my bestfriend at Comcast, or I could always go into serving at my old restaurant where I made at least $150 a night. However im not the one to give up and will weather the storm of my personal trials.

2008 The year of black men in the media

2008-12-05T13:26:00.007-05:00

After sitting and watching the OJ verdict, I just thought well this has certainly been the year of the black male. Black men have been struggling to gain a positive image from 1 to 80 years old. We have a crisis in this country when it comes to black males. We hold up as the most incarcerated, amongst other negative stereotypes.

First and foremost poor OJ. He got AWAY last time and he ended up back in the system and convicted. IDIOT. I mean what more can I say. Too bad Cochran wasnt here to save him this time.

Plaxico Burress. I dont know which football star is more of an idiot OJ or Plaxico. I mean come on who wears sweat pants to a club with a gun in the pocket? THEN u stupdily end up shooting yourself, pretty much lose your job, and face criminal charges. A GOT DAMN SHAME. Some people don't deserve fame and money, they just dont know what to do with it.

Kwame Kilpatrick another idiot. How stupid can you be to use lie under oath about a marital affair. Didnt he learn from Clinton? The former mayor of Detroit really screwed up, enough said.

Michael Vick. The former Atlanta Falcons Quarterback was convicted on dog fighting charges. Consequently he lost his job and ended up in prison.

T.I. another idiot move with weapons charges.

Barack Obama. 44th president, clearly the epitomy of what one can become when you put your mind to it.

Clarence Thomas Challenges Obama’s Citizenship

2008-12-05T12:14:00.002-05:00

I am hot! When I read this mess I got really upset. That Uncle Tom sitting on the Supreme court has decided to challenge whether Barack Obama is an American born citizen. http://blogs.bet.com/news/newsyoushouldknow/clarence-thomas-challenges-obamas-citizenship-15/?cid=idnb

Of ALL the people WHY does it have to be someone black. I swear it doesn't matter how far you get in life there will always be someone trying to bring you down. The crabs in a barrel mentality clearly exists even high up. Although I know that Obama will be cleared of this inquiry, it is a digrace to black people that Thomas has decided to do this. That House negro will never earn the respect of the black race so he has decided to make news. A Sad day for black Americans.