Gay Dating (Atlanta)

Good day people! I decided to write this blog based off a comment made by no one other than Sheree Whitfield, a former housewife from the Real Housewives of Atlanta on Watch What Happens Live! Sheree said that dating was hard in Atlanta. I retweeted that comment (@keithjonesjr) and it got a lot of attention.

Having spent a few years in Atlanta I can speak on the dating scene there. I don't think it is hard to date there. I think it is what you make it. Atlanta is a place where you can party every single day of the week. If you are tied into that club scene, you are not really considered the datable type. On the flip side, if you are holding down a job, party socially, have your own house/apartment and or car, then you are considered more datable. That's just my view. I agree with one of my Twitter followers who said I don't really have a bad story of someone I dated in Atlanta. Now DC on the other hand...just read my older blogs. I also have to add that dating in your hometown can be interesting/difficult. For a while, I thought it was just me who saw that perspective. However in looking at who my friends and associates have dated or coupled up with, very few share the same hometown. One of my Twitter followers said he lived in Atlanta for 18 years and has found no guys there he likes. I think another follower put it best when he said, "it was all either incompatibility or just wrong timing." That can summarize a lot of situations when it comes to dating anywhere. What are your experiences or views on gay dating or dating in Atlanta?

My View on the Morehouse College Rape Allegation

As you may know, four Morehouse College athlete students' were charged with rape of a Spelman student, which allegedly happened on campus. Morehouse College released a statement:

In March, there were two alleged assault incidents involving Morehouse students.
After the information was brought to the attention of campus police, the suspectswere identified and arrested.

While we cannot speak to specifics of these cases, our policies and procedures call for disciplinary actions against students who violate our code of conduct and the law, up to and including dismissal from the College.

Morehouse has a zero tolerance policy related to violence of any kind.  Violence is the very antithesis of the Morehouse ethos and the values of a Morehouse Man.
Morehouse College police are working with the Fulton County District Attorney’s Office and will continue to do so until these cases are resolved.

The college has also been in the news recently for replacing the baccalaureate speaker, an alum pastor from Philly, who criticized President Obama for not having enough black people in his cabinet. President Obama is the commencement speaker in May.

These are unique times at Morehouse; trying to define a classic image in a new era. This includes the type of students being admitted. I have said that admissions should tighten up requirements for students entering the college...even at the athletic level. There was an allegation of a Spelman student being raped a few years ago, however that case was refuted for not being true and never made the press. The allegations overall are a concern, as Morehouse students may need some sort of teaching on not only respecting each other, but also  respecting women and the consequences of engaging in illicit acts.

This may be the biggest case to come across Morehouse since the Greg Love incident in 2003. Mr. Love was attacked by a baseball bat for allegedly trying to look at another male student in the dorm showers. I met Greg a few times, most recently a couple of years ago in New York and he seems to be doing well. These cases go to show that sexuality both homo and hetero needs to continually be addressed from the administration level on down to the student peer group level. We live in a " highly sexualized society" so it only makes sense to educate and have dialogue with students about this.



 

Scorpio + Leo = ???? Part II

Folks, this blog series could go as long as the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion episodes. I left off with the break-up. Last night I found out from him that he messed around twice during the two months we dated. We agreed to be "exclusively dating" which meant no sex with anyone else. I, of course, was taken aback. I was then infuriated when I remembered that he proposed  that we take things up a notch to boyfriend status. His insecurities got the best of him but my intuition keep me from a broken heart. It is sad though that we as black gay men cannot seem to find ourselves, in general, to be loyal. There will always be someone cuter, smarter, taller, shorter (if you like them like me) and attractive in the world. We must learn to realize that when you have a good thing, keep it, it can possibly take you far and beyond your wildest dreams.

I had the pleasure to meet one of his friends who is graduating law school. He was the president of the student body of the law school. He is also openly gay and very much engaged to his fiancee. They will be getting married right after his graduates law school. They are young and black. If anything, that couple reminds me that there is hope. This situation I was in makes all gay men right now seem bleek but they are what seems to be a rare example, that it works if you try.

So consequently I have cut ties with him and wished him the best in life. The saying goes, "you don't miss a good thing till it's gone."

Scorpio + Leo = ????

Fellow bloggers, I have come out of the smoke again to write another blog about my recent set of dating. Ironically enough this person I was dating has read my blog and Twitter page to learn more about it, I guess that makes sense. Anyway after a couple of months of dating, we had a few minor issues. I think we both were compatible in theory but practicality was a huge learning curve, which we both made some adjustments. In the end, I feel that he was more emotionally invested in this than me. I feel like our initial issues of him nitpicking and keeping track of time and dates of when I screwed up was an issue but an obstacle that was being overcome. I did not appreciate that stuff was thrown back in my face that was irrelevant to our current disagreement. I've never dated and had this many differences in such a short period of time. I by the way was no means perfect in this time of dating. The topic of being boyfriend and
 boyfriend was brought up. He felt that he would be more "secure" if we moved on from "exclusively dating. I was not at that point emotionally after two months that I wanted to make that jump. That's the point of dating, getting to know someone and if you think you can see yourself long term with that person then go for it. This was my two month evaluation. Although he is a great catch, two months or more down the line I think our strong personalities would generate more disagreements, which is just not healthy.

2013 White House Briefing for LGBT Emerging Leaders.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure and honor to attend the White House briefing for LGBT Emerging leaders, sponsored by the National Black Justice Coalition, the Human Rights Campaign and the Gay and Lesbian Task Force. The day included a White House tour of the East Wing, a trip to the Kennedy Caucus Room on Capitol Hill for introductions and the White House briefing at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. I have lived in DC essentially for 27 years and that was my first visit to the White House. I always said that if I was to visit the White House it would be for a purpose. Yesterday was that day. The three hosting organizations did a wonderful job of making that day possible.

The discussions and topics vary, but what stood out to me was the foster care programs in our country and how there is a movement to make the programs LGBT friendly. Placing children who may identify as gay, with affirming parents. Furthermore, once he or she becomes 21, making sure that the are prepared for life. In addition, finding the parents is a must.

The other interesting topic came up about our criminal justice system, as it relates to hate crimes. "The Obama administration is working and has implemented executive orders to protect the basic civil liberties of LBGT people," said a top Obama adviser. Yet, there is the need for so much change.

AIDS and HIV was another topic discussed. The statistics are startling. For example, 1 in 2 gay black men in Baltimore has HIV. In some areas in America, the numbers are as bad as sub-Saharan Africa. This topic gets as deep as the numbers. Why are gay black men and men/women who are transsexual have the highest number of reported cases? One example someone gave is that the medication is so great, and people are living longer so if they contract it, it's ok. I see it from a grassroots standpoint, Every person in that moment, when it's time to make a choice, which should be a no-brainer, that each time you choose to have unprotected sex, you are playing the Russian roulette  on your life.

Economic mobility for LGBT people was discussed. This referred to LGBT people owning their own businesses. There are a lot of programs the Obama administration will be funding this year to support this cause.

Overall, the briefing was great. It was good to see old and new faces. In a more personal note, I have spent years in the LGBT movement, from conferences to panels, to marching in parades, to hear people say all sorts of epithets mostly "Christian people." I was empowered again to keep up this fight. I am so glad that President Obama stands 100% behind LGBT people and the fight for equality, under law.

Blackberry 10, the Comeback of Blackberry?

Yesterday, I had the pleasure to attend the Blackberry Fan Event at Milk Studios in New York City. My friend won a contest which is received the new phone and I was fortunate to be invited. Blackberry still has a large following. I was amazed at how many people still use the Blackberry phones, truly loyal to the franchise. 

I had a chance to play with the Blackberry 10 and learn about its features. Many are pretty impressive such as video chat with the ability to share your screen with another caller, or the ability to have multi-video chat using Oovoo. The phones processor is strikingly fast. The design is what you would expect for a Blackberry phone, but with a sleek look and feel. The phone is available today in Canada, next month in the UK and March for the US.

Is Blackberry back? Well, assuming Blackberry was gone from the popular culture of phones in which the Apple iPhones have dominated I would say yes. Apple needs to get innovative with their next set of phones, as people will get tired of the minor changes made every release and out of curiosity, check out the Blackberry.

It was also nice that the CEO of Blackberry, Thorsten Heins stopped by to take a make a few remarks and took quite a few pictures with guests.

Happy 2013!

Happy New Year folks!

I am alive and well here in the District. I brought in the New Year in NYC with my best-friend and brother at a very posh spot in NYC called Parlor. I certainly, as always, had a great time in the "big apple". Most New Yorkers hate when folks call it that but whatever.

Anyway, I am still with the mayor's office, now going into my 3rd official year but 4th overall, as I started out as an intern.
 I am very much single. YES, I know you are wondering why? Well, I will save that for another blog.

So far, 2013 has been going well 17 days in. 2012 was a bittersweet year for me. I lost a lot of close people, including two former teachers', a few friends', and as you may have read, a family pet. I hope to go into 2013 strong and get past that, always keeping their lives and our shared memories to cherish forever.

I promise I will try to update this blog more (I pay $10 to renew the domain name every year). I seem to fail miserably at New Year's resolutions so I wont categorize that promise under that. I was surprised to hear that people actually read my blogs, Lol. I know a few of you do but I will just keep on writing with my  views and life experiences.

New Black Episcopal Bishop of Atlanta

Hello folks,

It has been a while since I have written a blog and what better way to start off than to write about something and someone who I have known for a few years. Robert C. Wright was elected the first African-American Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Atlanta last Saturday on the campus of Morehouse College. I have known Bishop Wright for about 5 years. I would attend his services at St. Paul Episcopal Church where he served as rector. His congregation worked in conjunction with the Episcopal Campus Ministry at Morehouse, the Absalom Jones Chapel, where I became an Episcopalian in 2005. The historic significance of his ordination goes beyond color barriers. Speaking on a personal level, his character, personality and teachings have certainly left a mark on me and clearly the many Episcopalians in the Diocese of Atlanta. Father Wright, as I have affectionately called him, led a very diverse congregation. I remember attending an Easter service and serving on the alter with him. The service was full of flair with trumpets, incents, candles and flowers. It was one of the best Easter services I have ever attended. I pray that Bishop Wright will lead the Diocese of Atlanta in the right direction and also I pray for the former Bishop that I was confirmed under, who has by the way written many books on the church and homosexuality, Bishop J. Neil Alexander.

                                                                          2005

Dog Days of Summer

Wassup people?! It has been a minute! My summer has certainly been busy. Where do I begin? Well my birthday was amazing. I spent it in Atlanta. But before that, a friend of mine won tickets to see Brandy perform at the Howard Theatre where we also got to go back stage after the show and take a picture with her and Q from 112. I met Brandy before and she still looks amazing. She performed some of her classics and one of her new songs.

Atlanta was a lot of fun for my bday. I really did it up down there with my bro and friends. The party moved from Atlanta back to DC to Philly to end in New York. Yes I drove! Philly was nice, as I finally got a chance to see the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall...I am a big history nerd. New York was amazing as I had a chance to see my NY friends and party with them.

Work has been consistent...nothing major to report there. Oh I was quoted in the Washington Post recently for my office...http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/dc-expands-its-anti-littering-program/2012/08/02/gJQAtEczSX_print.html

Still single and not quite looking. I have decided to meet guys the old fashioned way...in person and not via an app or website. So far that has been very promising. I will keep you all update if anything comes from that.

I'll be back in NYC for black pride in a couple of weeks then I'm looking forward to the Morehouse-Howard game aka Nation's Classic in DC Labor Day weekend...which means I will not be in Atlanta for black pride.

Homophobia and My Experiences

The previous blog about my car being spray painted with a homophobic statement made me think about other times when I was in a position of being attacked for being gay. The two times that stands out is when I participated in the Atlanta pride parade and I was marching with the Episcopal Church. I was amazed at the signs and gestures of "you're going to hell" "God hates gays" and other derogatory statements. The other time was when I marched with Morehouse Safe Space during the MLK parade. Again, funny looks were given and derogatory statements were yelled. It made me wonder what was Dr. King thinking when he led marches for Civil Rights. At anytime he could have been assassinated but he lived and breathed the movement. Or what other great martyrs who led a revolution for change thought in their minds as their movements were taking place.

Nonetheless we must pray for those who are confused from the ministers to the closet self hating homosexual because in the end, God is love and God loves all of his creation, man and woman, boy and girl, gay or straight.